An Awakening Summary

In Germany, we have this saying: Peace, Joy and Pancakes“ (Friede, Freude, Eierkuchen), which expresses an only superficially intact, seemingly peaceful and worry-free facade within a society.
We often use it to express that issues are ignored and repressed, instead of looking at them and solving them. In short: To ignore all the sh*t we have swept under the carpet so we don’t have to see it.

I was reminded of this expression by my dad, when he sent me an email reply the other day. I had shared our experiences in Camp Freedom with him:

„The atmosphere and mood in our camp is awesome. Although we are all going through our waves of letting go on the deepest physical levels, which involves going through the pain with screams and tears, we also have a lot of laughter and fun, and we hold space for each other of being nourished and cared for. We all feel very connected through our hearts, and we share the vision of a new world.“

He replied:

„It is really exciting to read what is happening in your camp. Certainly, not everything is „peace, joy and pancakes“ in such a community, but you have a common vision that strengthens your co-creation and coherence/team spirit and is setting free positive energy.

I could not do anything else but smile. Wow, yes – indeed, non of our „issues“ are ignored, they are playing out brutifully, to enable us to completely transform any linear construct that is still stored in the cells, we ever had resonated with. At the same time, we do have a lot of flow and positive energy going, resulting in so much fun, so much deep connectedness and beautiful co-creations.

This German saying inspired me to look back onto our individual awakening journeys, and how we are encountering these choice points in life that we return to, until we see our looping pattern. Points at which we until now had unconsciously applied our learned strategies to avoid pain and to receive love. People pleasing, excuses, explanations, problem fixing, submission, building up pressure, attacking or running away … etc. And each time we do so, we are violating and hurting our essence, our true inner core. „Oh, sure, it’s all peace, joy and pancakes, don’t worry.“ Gosh do we feel yuck inside. Step by step, we become aware of our patterns, we start to learn what self-love and boundaries mean (not in a ego sense of „me safe first on cost of others“, and putting up protective/controlling walls, but in a way of self-care and awareness).

We are all hitting a point individually, where we can no longer play superficially nice, living in „Pleasantville“, and act according to limiting morals, laws, and societal standards, that are forcing us to be someone we are not. Continuing with „oh sure, it is all peace, joy and pancakes, let’s have a cup of tea, shall we?“ is just no longer an option. The feeling of „yuck“ has become too ugly to still be ignored, and our thirst for freedom is bigger than the need for security. It is when we outgrow societies limitations, when it starts to hurt to make yourself small / to act against your essence for a job, an income, some attention, sex, status, security….

We are all hitting a point individually, when we get tired of all the repetitive stuff that keeps showing up in our reality. When we see the loop we’re in. When we understand, that we are projecting our own fears and conditioning onto others or onto situations. When we judge, when we divide in right and wrong, when we want to make people see what we see, when we want to convince others of our hard won truth, when we want to change the world and people’s behaviour, when we are waiting for people/or other beings to save us, when we expect „the event“ to happen etc.. We are screaming: „Can’t you see that it is not all peace, joy and pancakes?!?, Wake the F*ck up!“ We are exhausted, because our mission seems to not be supported by people the way it should be, and we do not get the resources to make it happen as we believed we should receive them, because we are working so hard for humanity. Pure Martyrdom. Just another form of people pleasing and saviour mentality of co-dependency. This leads us to realize that our perceived reality is nothing but a reflection of our own state of being/ our own energetic vibration. ALWAYS. We start seeing, that maybe not everything within us is „peace, joy and pancakes“.

Eventually we all hit that point when we realize that we need to look at all the sh*t, our own denied shadows under our own carpet, and stop pretending it is all „peace, joy and pancakes“. We all realize at some point, that wrapping everything in infinite blessings of the heart and divine love and light of oneness and garnish it with a pinch of gratitude and extra dressing of sacred purpose, does not make the deep inner pain, disappointment, frustration and longing go away. We really start seeing ourselves, our perfect perceived imperfection, the perfection of this whole awakening process and how everything is so well orchestrated and reliable in its structure, dynamics, cycles and timing – that not even a swiss watch can keep up with it.

Thankfully, we are so exhausted that we just surrender. We no longer try to solve it. We no longer identify with anything. Our ego „dies“, there are no attachments left to any story, role, mission, ideology, theory etc. We come to a big AHA-Moment: The way we perceive the world is always our own creation in every moment. We are an actor in our own movie, which we are perfectly designing for us and our own evolution. Every trigger, every situation, every encounter, serves our own expansion and growth. EVERYTHING is our own creation. EVERYTHING is a narrative/a story, we had been engaging in to see our looping patterns and our (earthly and/or spiritual) conditioning/beliefs. EVERYTHING is part of the ALL. Everyone is playing their part exactly as needed (which is most of the time not what we/our ego wanted). The illusion of separation and lack disappears. We fully trust ourselves and our own creation, and are going with that flow. We are no longer afraid of any consequences, because we are no longer afraid of our own power.

After the complete „Death of Identities“, we truly feel „peace, joy and pancakes“ inside of us, energetically. We are free of any beliefs. Our mental and emotional state is in a permanent state of zero-point, and just moves from moment to moment, following impulses. This is when we naturally start gravitating towards physical community. Subconsciously we already know that the individual journey is over, and we now „need“ community, to further expand and grow collectively. Our physical body needs intense physical triggers in permanent real life community, to actually transform our physical linear/carbon based structure to an organic structure. This includes a lot of physical body „work“ to go into the deep layers of our physical conditioning that we have inherited from our whole family lineage. Emotional „time capsules“, go off, layer by layer. They are not explosive as emotional breakouts are, actually, it is like goo that slowly works itself up to the surface, until it finally releases. We have had so many releases physically here in Camp Freedom, each one of us individually, all deep conditioning around lack, separation, self-worth, not being seen, entitlement, possessions, co-dependencies etc. So much anger and grief that we individually processed and transformed, while being held by our own inner peace of our energetic being, as well as by the unconditional love of our community.

When we are not going through a transformational wave, we play a lot. We feel a peaceful alignment, lots of joy when we „trial and error“ of living our absolicious life together. Everyone is sharing inspirations, ideas, knowledge, tools and toys, etc. The creativity is limitless, whether it is „The absolicious White House“ community space, a natural fridge, a pizza oven, the new website structure and content, water turbine installations for electricity, hot stone massage with river stones, a wood table for co-creative sessions, mountain explorations with the dogs, etc. And sometimes, we have pancakes for breakfast, cooked on the firepit.

Although we have those moments already, it certainly is not always all „peace, joy and pancakes“ as we dance this dance of alignment together, and we sometimes crash like rough rocks onto each other to harmonize and round our linear edges. At the same time, non of us would want to go back to old ways. We love our community life. We all know that this is the BEST THING EVER happening, and the true freedom from linearity and cause and effect that we experience is nothing you could describe. You gotta feel it with your whole being! Together, we become lighter and lighter, and are more and more truly embodying our essence and unconditional living and sharing, as we are becoming one unit, one organism being and doing/creating together. It is absolicious!

Each moment we experience together has more of shared „peace, joy, and pancakes“.