To be truly serene, this little, very well known prayer says so much more than at first sight. In general, the way I see it, there are two main types of directions in spirituality, when we are not completely serene / in equilibrium. One is the masculine way, the other the feminine way. There are many shades of colors in between them, and of course it is not at all this black and white. I am using the extremes here, to make it more palpable and clear. 

There is the spirituality of DOING, getting as much knowledge, trying as many methods, going to as many events, patching as many negative thought patterns with positive thoughts, making as many vision boards and roadmaps as possible, troubleshooting the could’s of the future. To just get to enlightenment as quickly as possible. To want to change the world as quickly as possible because it is so wrong. Free will is supposed to get us out of this for f*ck’s sake! 

It is – yes that is right – exhausting, because at some point one realizes that no matter how much one does, there is always more to do – and one never feels complete, serene and fulfilled. It is a loop of doing, to get out of the situation one does not appreciate or feel comfortable with. One tries to change the person one does not like or feel comfortable with (often that being oneself) and is trying to escape the NOW moment. One wants to control the outcome because one is not trusting and/or respecting Source / God / the universal laws and dynamics. It is a permanent swimming against the stream. 

And there is the spirituality of BEING. Letting things come to oneself. Letting go, letting go, letting go and surrender, surrender and surrender again. Let it all be. All is one. I am all and nothing. ”I” doesn’t even exist and is the illusion. The body is not real. Actually nothing is real. One doesn’t like the situation, but if one sits long enough, things will change. Not wanting to interact with the world, because it is too much. Not wanting any structure or roadmap in life, because it feels too confining. Expecting the Universe solves it, because it has put one here after all and one has no free will and choice. Believing the Universe or Source or God will deliver all the good things to one’s doorstep. The Event has to come at some point! After all, one has suffered enough, so there needs to be a reward in the end. Even if it is just dissolving back into the ALL as there is no point to this whole physical experience anyways. 

It is – yes that is right – exhausting, because at some point one realizes that no matter how much one sits and is, there is always more sitting (and waiting) – and one never feels complete, serene and fulfilled. It is a loop of being, to get out of the situation one does not appreciate or feel comfortable with. One wants the universe to decide for oneself, what one needs. To escape responsibility and to give one’s power away to an outside force. It is a permanent floating in the stream without giving oneself any direction. 

Ain’t that a beautiful paradox? Both ways are disempowering, both ways are rejecting the painful physical experience because they only see one side of the coin but not the coin itself. Both ways are not truly OWNING their reality. True serenity comes with an equilibrium between those two sides. 

YES, sometimes, we CAN change things. Those are the moments of inspired action, or of expressing a clear boundary with a clear ”NO” or expressing a clear intention with a clear “YES”. Those are moments, when we actively step into the unknown and into our fear to break on through to the other side. When we actively shift a trajectory for us or for others to enable growth and expansion – and to then jump a timeline. 

And NO, sometimes, we CANNOT change things, no matter what we would do. Those are the moments of letting go, of true surrender, of unconditional acceptance of what IS. 

The wisdom to know the difference is the ultimate art of breathing with the flow of life. To know when it is the moment to DO, and to know when it is the moment to BE. 

The texts I share are always based in my own experience and observations. By no means I am claiming this to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to find their own truth and to be open to it changing as new information integrates. As this is universal wisdom of us ALL, I do not claim any copyright. Feel free to utilize and share, as long as you keep the text complete as it is so it keeps its energetic signature. Thanks Vera



Somebody from the fflock community asked me if I could share about my experience of embodiment, and that she was experiencing a lot of burning and aching down to the bones. 
I felt that the words burning and aching truly are perfect ways to describe the process of embodiment. 

I cannot even say when it started exactly, it must have been mid/end 2018, when my body went into complete imbalance. Now back then, I was in a state of pure joy and happiness. I felt I had completed my process of transformation, I felt emotionally balanced and my physical body had never been healthier. I did not need much food anymore, I went ecstatic dancing at least three days a week, I went kitesurfing, hiking, biking etc and I had limitless energy available. I felt ASCENDED. 

Little did I know that there was a whole new cycle of transformation coming up for me. This time the cycle of DESCENSION or the EMBODIMENT of the higher energies that had anchored in my energetic field. My physical body was literally going nuts. I started gaining a lot of weight, I felt bloated and blown up, had constant brainfog and headaches and was very tired. I lost my libido completely. My hormonal system was going crazy, all the glands were out of balance. I had cravings shifting and changing constantly as if I was pregnant. And in a way, I was. Pregnant with a new version of me. I had to let go of any belief system around food and what is healthy or not. I became an intuitive eater, listening very closely to what my body was asking for. My so far plant based, light diet shifted into very heavy and grounding foods including meat and lots of potatoes. I could not touch salad, raw food, fruits or nuts for three years! About half a year ago, cravings shifted again completely and I am now craving more light foods again. In general, I am eating a lot less. 1.5 meals per day are enough. 

I also had to let go of all my belief systems around beauty of a physical body. I realized how unhealthy the idea is of having trained, strong muscles and a flat belly. This way, we are holding the things that want to release even more tight. I don’t know how the new, balanced human bodies will look like, but I do know that the belly will be relaxed and soft. The whole area around the belly button holds so much trauma, especially around base safety, like not being nourished and not being held and sheltered. 

The worst of all really was (and still is) the burning and aching of the joints and the nervous system. It feels schizophrenic, when your energetic field and mind is calm, while the physical body memory goes through many waves of fear and terror. It just wants to get back into its comfort zone and the apply safety strategies it knows. But – there is no way back. 

As far as I can say from my own experience – there are two processes happening in parallel. The purging of old cellular memory/trauma and the transformation of the physical body into a new, advanced structure / geometry to be able to read and decode the higher frequencies. 
Agustí and I, we started exploring our bodies to understand better, what is happening. We realized that trauma was sitting in some sort of “fat pockets” that had crystal like content, when you were touching them. I would compare it to zip-files, where the body has compressed emotional information that had been suppressed and not released. They mainly are wrapped around the nerves. We played with high pressure massages and trauma started releasing through screams and tears. Each time after such a release, the body shapeshifted again and looked differently. Now, those traumas were only in the beginning related to my own life experience but soon I realized that what I was releasing was collective trauma from my whole family lineage that had just been passed on from generation to generation. It was excruciating and liberating at the same time. We called it loving exorcism. 

The purging pain is different from the restructuring pain. The restructuring is mainly the burning and aching sensation firing through the nervous system from top to bottom. My main pain areas sit along the spine. Sometimes it intensifies in one body part – like a major migraine or digestion issues or a burning sensation in the anus/perineum. 

The purging pain, when touching a spot in the body is more like a very sore muscle pain, and sometimes also it feels ticklish, uncomfortable to be touched there and the body goes into fight mode. As soon as you break through the fight mode and surrender, it is much more an emotional pain when it releases. It is a deep grief that surfaces. After the release, the part of the body feels relaxed and the pain in that spot is gone. 

I am in year four now of the embodiment process and my nerves and joints still burn and are on fire every day. I kind of got used to the pain and am embracing it instead of trying to get rid of it. I do physically what I feel like doing and I am listening closely to the impulses. I enjoy being outside in nature and go for hikes, even if I go slow. My body seems to like the reference points in nature to let go of the old comfort zone. I am feeling joy and bliss despite the pain, unless an old collective fear memory pocket comes up for release. Those releases are different from the emotional releases. They feel more like pulling chewing gum. You can notice that something is working its way up to the surface, but it takes a lot more time and the emotional pain is less explosive but deeper. 

I keep being fascinated by this whole evolutionary process. It is also a truly big exercise of self-love, including the physical body – no matter what. To not get upset that the vehicle we are navigating reality with is working full time internally and needs a lot of rest, spaceholding and support. I have developed an immense patience and keep learning more about the body and to listen to its intelligence but not to its fear reactions. It is a fine line to walk to not try to save your own body from pain, but to accompany it through the pain with loving support and nutrition/nourishment.

The Evolution into Physical Limitlessness

Individually, we are all dreaming of being limitless in the physical world. And we have developed certain ideas what it means to be limitless. Many attach limitlessness to money. Yet, if you look more closely into the characteristics of money: It is countable and can therefore never be limitless, no matter how much you have. Others attach limitless to the magic of ”I create as I speak” or physical superpowers. But to be honest – how fast would that get boring, and how empty would those creations be?

All these belief systems share one common belief: The belief of being a separated individual that needs to do it on their own. Now you might say: ”But there is a lot of intentional communities out there, that are doing it differently and together!” Yes, true – but also these communities share a strong belief system of separation with the rest of the individuals: Survival. Although they might have formed a community, they still feel separated from the rest of humanity.

As long as we are in physical form with a perception of being an individual (or group of), separated being(s), we will perceive physical limitations. Limitations of what we are able to do in a certain time frame, limitations of what we can do with the forces of our individual body, limitations of what we can do with our ideas and inspirations, limitations of what we can do with our possessions and earnings etc. 

As long as we perceive physical separation, we are limited. It all actually starts with our individual separation between soul and physical body. The belief of separation is so deeply anchored in our being, it takes long cycles of releasing, processing and reorganizing. And in many ways, we get distracted from this process by stories and narratives ” out there” that confirm these beliefs of separation.

There are plenty of bypassing strategies/narratives to escape the journey of physical transformation into oneness, because it just seems impossible or too hard (because we believe in separation). It is easier to get distracted with the eons old stories of separation, the darkness and the light, the evil and the good. Or to completely snap out of the physical experience and spend the time in the energetic realms where everything is unicorns and butterflies. Or to escape into the mode of being a transcended master that no longer needs the physical existence. Or to take meds, (spiritual) drugs or alcohol to numb ourselves out of this miserable physical sh*thole,-. Or to get addicted to performance, to workout,… etc. 

Unfortunately, non of it will make us feel truly whole or joyful. Because it all separates us from our essence. All of these bypasses are our way to somehow deal with our belief system of being separated. Physical limitlessness only comes with the transcendence of individual separation – and with it a complete detachment of the own individual existence and life span. 

We truly become unconditional, when we see the big picture of human physicality interacting and being interdependent with the whole universe. When we truly understand our nature of being a superorganism. And yes, this will be the formation of a new belief system 🙂 

As human, it is not possible to not have a belief system. Even if we claim to believe in nothing, we believe that to be the ultimate truth. The question is are we attached to a belief system, and it becomes our new dogma, or are we open to shift into new belief systems, letting go of what we once believed to be true?

Belief systems actually are the architects of our reality. The structure of our thoughts defines the projection of reality we perceive and experience. When a whole group of individuals shares a certain thought geometry, a collective perception and experience of reality is formed. 

We experience the beginning of a collective paradigm shift, when a collective belief system breaks down, because it can no longer be confirmed to be true by the experience of the collective. Looking back in human history, we can clearly see those shifts.

Evolution needs those breakdowns of thought structures and needs the chaos that follows after such big turning points. It is in our nature to reform our thought patterns in a new way and therefore make way for a breakthrough into a new era, where we do things differently that have never been done like this before. The new collective thought forms/geometry create the new collective experience. Up until now in human evolution, we have fallen so much in love with our creations and have made them our safe, reliable comfort zone, that we developed great attachment to them. And, we are stubbornly holding on to these belief systems, although something in us knows that this is not the way. 

There are some more obvious collective belief systems, like religions, nations, borders, democracy/communism, the economic and financial system/money, trade, linear hierarchies, health, relationships, and maybe the not so obvious ones of feeling inferior or superior, of not being seen and valued in our essence, etc.  But there are so many more belief systems, we have developed and have a hard time to let go of – especially those that have been passed on through our cellular memory on the subconscious level. Therefore, although we might have a clean energetic emotional field, the physical memory can still distort our thought geometry and with it our physical experience very much and can give us an awfully hard time. The releasing of cellular memory takes a long time and is known to be very intense and painful. It takes a lot of self-love, self-care and patience. 

This brings us back to the beginning. As long as we are projecting a collective field of perceived individual separation, we cannot co-create physical limitlessness. And we cannot teach or unteach collective belief systems. All we can do is inspire with new ways and assist when someone asks. The collective breakdown takes the time it takes. The breakthrough happens, when individuals of a collective large enough start to project a new collective experience because they have collapsed and released these belief systems. Evolution takes place in a container of space and time and therefore requires a lot of patience. This is the physical learning playground we find ourselves in. While the collective goes through this breakdown, and until the collective for the formation of new, shared collective thought forms has grown enough, we need to find our own bridge between those two realities/geometries. To serve both, the individual and the collective in the best way possible. 

The texts I share are always based in my own experience and observations. By no means I am claiming this to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to find their own truth and to be open to it changing as new information integrates. As this is universal wisdom of us ALL, I do not claim any copyright. Feel free to utilize and share, as long as you keep the text complete as it is so it keeps its energetic signature. Thanks Vera

*Absolicious ART by Angela Compagnone

You can’t mix Dimensions – Until you can

As with everything – everything is a paradox. In duality – things are like oil and water. They don’t mix, always repel each other. Especially our physical bodies are anchored in duality polarity for a long, long time. Until then, there is no way to be unconditional in a conditional environment. 

And it has nothing to do with the environment really. Because the environment is always a reflection of where we are ourselves with our state of being. The state of mind and the state of heart shift pretty quickly (it takes years, too – but we work through much less density than physically). The state of being (or the state of solar plexus) takes much longer to restructure and transform. We are dying physically in stages – in a way that we are not actually going through physical death. We need to be aware that our DNA carries ALL information (the Akashic Records) of ALL humanity. That is why our environment keeps manifesting in a “distorted”, dualistic way, although state of mind and state of heart might already be at a much higher frequency (or no frequency at all – zero point). That is why we still perceive separation in physical form. When the embodiment process truly starts, the mental and emotional releases seem like “kindergarten”. This is not meant in a disrespectful way. The physical goes just so much deeper and the only way to describe it is “exorcism”. All demons of humanity that were hiding in our junk DNA are coming up for release. To activate and transform the junk back into its original purpose: The ability to live in interdependence. The center of this physical intelligence is our solar plexus. It is a center point of our nervous system, translating the impulses and signals in a completely different way. We no longer are able to perceive anything as separate from us. Everything and everyone is family, no matter what their state of mind, state of heart or state of being might be. Everything is unconditional, as conditions can only exist in separation. Now, this is very different from what we thought unconditional was. That we have to love, save, help and solve it everyone. Or that we expect others to help us, save us, love us or solve it for us. No. This is about letting be. Seeing the perfection in all dimensions and situations, as well as their purpose. Knowing everything follows natural cycles that we cannot speed up or manipulate. Knowing, we only take action, when we feel a clear impulse. An impulse from our full body intuition (not from fear, need to solve, control…)
When the physical body has transformed enough, we start perceiving the world in a very different way, beyond duality. All we can feel and experience is love for life and everything in it. Seeing it and embracing it as our own creation. And “our own” means ALL of US as a collective, a superorganism that, in duality, suffers from amnesia.

The process of awakening and ascension needs to happen in waves and cycles. In the universal order of things. As long as we are in a physical existence, we are bound to the physical laws of evolution and involution. When physical death occurs, we are taken out of these boundaries. But are no longer able to physically co-create either. The new paradigm is a new physical experiment. To experience oneness and interdependence in physical form, accessing our full intelligence by harmonic convergence of soul, mind, heart and physical body. To then go into harmonic convergence with fully harmonic embodied beings. Nature and the universe already operate in harmonic convergence. The human species is the one that needs to align with those principles. Not the other way around.

And we are well underway! I love to observe this process and to experience it while being in physical form. We are ALL beyond amazing, and everyone is exactly where needed, and of service to the WHOLE, to evolution and involution. Whether conscious about it or not. Involution and Evolution both work through us. Involution are those memories from the future we receive and feel, when we are in an expanded state of mind and heart. Evolution happens when our body starts translating those signals correctly (no longer acting from a place of fear), starting the physical transformation into the new interdependent human, preparing for unconditional life and co-creation. 

As long as harmonic convergence is not completed within us – we cannot mix dimensions. Until we can.

What a time to be alive!

#evolution #involution #genekey55 #sharedessence #absolutia #humanmetamorphosis #harmonicconvergence #embodiment #discoverytales

The texts I share are always based in my own experience and observations. By no means I am claiming this to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to find their own truth and to be open to it changing as new information integrates. As this is universal wisdom of us ALL, I do not claim any copyright. Feel free to utilize and share, as long as you keep the text complete as it is so it keeps its energetic signature. Thanks Vera

*Absolicious Art by __ drz __

*Originally posted at

HOMECOMING – The End of the Quest

quest tunnel gate path light end journey

Written in January 2017, so aligned with the Gene Key 4 (Intolerance – Understanding – Forgiveness) transiting now… 

You can read and watch videos and listen to podcasts throughout your whole existence to find out how the universe works, how darkness and light interact, where we come from, why we experience what we experience and what the meaning of life is.

You can study quantum mechanics, astrophysics, all the religious teachings, conspiracy theories, astrology, numerology, and all esoteric information out there. And yes – this certainly helps discernment and the raising of your awareness and sometimes it can give you a short moment of some peace of mind.

But, at some point, you will come to realize, that this thirst for knowledge keeps you trapped in the same old loop of duality. 

So, unless you leave your head and open your heart to understand the language of energy and feel the truth coming through your own intuition,

unless you have recognized vulnerability as your true strength and key to transmute energies,

unless you have raised your own vibration to unconditional love and compassion,

unless you have stopped to search for your answers outside, and fully trust what you feel

you will always remain a restless seeker.

The search stops the minute you are fully anchored in self-love.

Then you are overflowing, playful and sharing your infinite abundance with all that is.

Then you have left your humanness behind.

Then you live according to the Universal Laws.

Then you go with the flow.

Then you have become a master.

Welcome home.

*Absolicious ART by Mirzet


cycles human transformation

The past weeks, I have gone on a deep dive of many contemplations on my life experience so far, uncovering a deep seated self-sabotage pattern, that was physically sitting in my back – especially in the L1/L2 area and the C3 area. I went through cycles of incredible pain, affecting the whole nervous system with electric shocks, while at the same time often being incredibly tired and exhausted. This pain has been there for a long time – ever since I left Amsterdam, which I consider the last place where I felt at home. With leaving Amsterdam, I left the core stability of life I had built for myself, to embark on the adventure of co-creating the new with people in Brazil who had lots of resources and land available. It was the beginning of a permanent triggering of my survival mechanisms, especially related to home, money, and mobility. 

I had stopped my own business of coaching and retreats, to be fully focused on this new endeavour. And, without being aware of it, I headed into a big co-dependency set up. We could either compromise to be safe, or go back to Europe and end up with nothing: No home, no car, no incomes. Ending up with nothing was what happened, and ever since, we kept trying to find the way of how we can build the new. With going to Brazil, the idea (and with it unconsciously the belief) had formed, that we need to get people together in community to start creating and building the new. 

Non of our attempts, neither in Brazil, the US nor Europe were going into much creativity. They all ended up being intense, beautiful learnings about human dynamics and served us a lot of group triggers to be able to release what no longer serves. It showed us so much about our inner world, patterns and emotions. And I would not want to miss a thing. The insight of seeing what is actually in the way to co-exist and live in harmony and a completely new way was priceless and worth all the pain: It is nothing else but our own individual and collective human conditioning and programming. There simply is no way to force it, to teach it, or to make it happen. Each individual human being is going through their process at their own speed, and there is no guarantee that this transformation will happen in one lifetime. We just need to let be and let live, and keep focusing back onto our own being and doing. 

I realized, now being back here in Europe in a more stable environment for now, that the new will not start with community. I was flabbergasted, but I could feel the truth in it. 

Yes, we want community, because we don’t want to do it alone, and we don’t want to be alone. And at first sight, it seems so much easier to do it together. But reality is different. The human gets in the way.  If we have not truly transcended all of our conditional beliefs and patterns (and so many of them are subconscious!) we will always end up in old conditional patterns and behaviour. We will have to implement old control methods again, be it conflict management, schedules, rules, etc. We are simply not ready to live together in a completely new, unconditional way. It is nobody’s fault, it is evolution. 

As wonderful, amazing, and insightful the experiments in the USA were – they brought us back to Europe empty-handed again, and into another set-up of co-dependency that offers us a place to stay for now. The books I wrote and the video tutorials I offer on contribution basis on my website, plus some financial contributions we receive regularly and unregularly sum up monthly to around 650 USD (550 EUR) for two adults and two dogs of which around 100 USD are going right into operating costs of our websites and creative tools. I am not sharing this to evoke any pity, or to shock, I am sharing this to be transparent, open and honest, especially with myself, and to admit that I have not yet created a healthy in and outflow, to live the simple life I feel to live: To share my gifts, to live in nature with no fences for the dogs or us, to write more books, and to co-create, share and prototype the new ways, with people who share such a vision and idea of life. 

I am also being brutally honest with myself that I am no longer in any way interested in continuing my life journey living the way I lived ever since I left Amsterdam. I know it was necessary, but I also know it is done, and there is nothing more to explore or to expand. I am looking deep within, I am owning and taking full responsibility for what I have created up to now. Although I don’t have clarity yet on what is next, I do know, this cycle is ending. 

I had truly believed if I shared my wisdom unconditionally and abundantly, it would take care of „me“, too. 

The paradox is, of course, it did! I always had my basic needs covered. And I learned and expanded so much! I have slept under the stars, in deserts, forests, on beaches and mountains, in snow, and we’ve had so many amazing adventures together with other brave souls who shared part of the journey with us. It has been incredible, and heart connections were created that are made of infinity. I am so grateful for every single moment of beauty and intensity shared. Although it brought us to the edge many times. It was authentic and true and unconditional love was the common denominator. 

I just could not see until now, that subconsciously, I still had a conditional co-dependent pattern running of „if this…. then that“. I still expected somehow that people who followed and loved what we were doing, would support us to be able to keep going and keep it growing for the benefit of us all. But somehow, money only showed up when we shared about our difficult situation, when it looked like we needed to be saved. It never showed up for what we were actually creating, sharing and offering to the world. We just did not come from a place of purity, joy and prosperity yet. The lack patterns sit so incredibly deep, that even the harsh survival triggers I had experienced on the US adventure, living in a tent for almost a year could not get to the bottom of it yet. 

I knew there was something in me that kept distorting the flow, and I knew I needed to let go of all the co-dependent structures I had created  on social media. And I did. I disappeared. I made a new profile, and I no longer was interested in any followers, I was interested in true friends who are mutually interested in each others essences, and are actually in a permanent equal exchange. The number of people I interact with has downsized immensely, and I have become very selective with whom I share energy with. I just needed to stop, and take my own space to go onto this deep inner exploration. 

Now back to my back 🙂 Sitting with the pain, and feeling into it, reading about it, I could truly understand that this related exactly to the issues I had manifesting in repetitive loops in my life: The C3 neckpain blocking the translation of all the inspirations and ideas into physical action and manifestation, and the L1/L2 area representing a gap in my core stability related to income and home. It is closely linked to the self-sabotage of „If I am myself, something bad will happen“ (I will not survive, I will not be taken care of, I will not be understood, I will not be valued, I will not be loved etc.) 

It was a shock for me to see it so clearly, and that up until here, I had been creating my reality with that distortion. I thought I had been sharing unconditionally, but I had not. Although subconsciously, I had still expected something in return. There was still an attachment out of survival fears. 

Ever since I could see it, creativity started to flow like never before. Together with Agustí, we have been bringing so much on paper, and have been completing the blue prints and concrete implementation steps without any effort. It has been such an easy, fun and beautiful flow, and it just keeps coming with more and more details. Will we ever see it come into physical form? I don’t know. I have let go once more, and I know that what we are doing is so much bigger than what I had considered to be „me“. 

Once more, I have put myself in the corner with seemingly no way out. No car, no other place to go to. It is perfect, because it really gives me the space and time to truly sit with myself. No distractions. Deep breathing. Conscious body movements and stretches. Listening carefully to the body intelligence and what it needs. Focused on what is right here right now. Healing the back- and neckpain, and unraveling the trauma of self-sabotage further, traveling the inner planes. I am allowing myself to viscerally feel the self-doubt related to the self-sabotage to alchemize it, and to allow the integration of the value I contribute to the whole into my entire physical being.

*Absolicious ART by geralt


unity separation one same oneness

The current world stage has disrupted our modus operandi. The ways as we have known them are no more. We can feel more separated than ever, or more united than ever. The only difference: Our perspective.

The world we live in is always in balance. Energetic patterns synchronize with energetic patterns and they equally distribute on one or the other side of polarity, some more, some less extreme. Our selective perception does not see it that way, because it overemphasizes our own world view, and we therefore think it is not balanced but unequally divided. We therefore don’t like this idea (we like to be the victim after all), but that is just how it is, and it is the code that runs the whole show in the backend. For every opinion and belief you find as much confirmation as debunking. There is always a force and counterforce. A poison and an antidote. A proof and a counterproof. It is simply the way our reality is set up.

Right now, the world is equally divided into pro- and anti-vaxxers. Some to the very extreme, others more moderate, and very few in the center / neutrality. The pro-vaxxers are blaming the anti-vaxxers of being exclusive and irresponsible, and are putting themselves first egotistically on cost of the safety of the collective. The anti-vaxxers are blaming the pro-vaxxers of being exclusive and irresponsible and are putting egotistically their own health first before someone else’s health, on the cost of freedom of the individual.

We seem so divided and separated that there is no way to find a common ground. Nevertheless, there is something that truly unites us: OUR FEAR. The pro-vaxxers are afraid to lose their health and their freedom permanently if people don’t get vaccinated collectively. The anti-vaxxers are afraid to lose their health and their freedom permanently if people get vaccinated collectively. Interesting, huh?

Take another example: The USA is equally divided into pro-Trumpers and pro-Bidens. The pro-Trumpers are blaming the pro-Bidens of being selfishly irresponsible and putting the US at risk to lose the values and economic power, as well as the reputation that the USA has been standing for ever since it was founded WITHIN the USA — America First. The pro-Bidens are blaming the pro-Trumpers that they are being selfishly irresponsible and are putting the values and economic power as well as the reputation of the US at risk — OUTSIDE OF THE USA — World first. By the way, both, Patriots and Democrats are just as afraid of being discriminated by the other side.

What unites us? Right, our fear of losing the foundation of what we are standing for. We are all afraid of losing our reputation, our income, our safety, our ability to provide for our loved ones. We are all afraid of not being safe and not being free.

Gun control? The right to defend ourselves vs. the right to be protected by the state? The fear we share: Losing our individual safety and comfort zone.

We always are afraid of losing control / being controlled, and of losing our individual freedom. We all are afraid of not being seen and valued and of not surviving (however we define that individually).

Go on, take any example you can find of a conflict and split that seems unsuperable. It does not matter if it is individually or collectively. It does not matter how dramatic or cruel or evil it looks and feels. Dive deeper, into the layer of fear. You will always find the same shared fear patterns. You will always find unity in the illusionary separation. You will always find the common ground with people you perceive as your enemies. You will always find a fearful, struggling inner child with childhood trauma that just wants to be safe, be seen, and be loved.

That is what unites us all. Always. We are all humans, we all carry trauma, and the same codes and patterns. The only difference is the story how they manifest for us. And we can transcend them, when we start seeing, recognizing and feeling them. Taking responsibility for our feelings instead of making others responsible. Facing our own inner darkness instead of projecting it onto others. We have all co-created the world together the wqy it is today. We have all participated. We have all played the game. We have all been victims and perpetrators. We have all competed and tried to survive, even to the disadvantage of others. We have created it, and we are the only one’s who can end it. Within us. Not by changing the others or the world.

What divides us is the belief and the story we are attached to. Where we feel we need to be right and are superior to others (and really — there are no others, just people that mirror our own fear and responsibilty back to us). What unites is the common ground of sharing the same fear pattern. We need to be radically honest, first and foremost with ourselves. It is up to us which perspective we are taking, whether we look into the mirror, and whether we unite or separate.

If we look on the world with our mind and our eyes, we are blind to the essential. We need to go deeper and see with our heart and its compassionate respect to find the unity and inner peace we have all been longing for.

The texts I share are always based in my own experience and observations. By no means I am claiming this to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to find their own truth and to be open to it changing as new information integrates. As this is universal wisdom of us ALL, I do not claim any copyright. Feel free to utilize and share, as long as you keep the text complete as it is so it keeps its energetic signature.
Thanks Vera

*Absolicious ART by ErikTanghe


backend body setup genekeys

We are about to experience some big shifts in this so-called dualistic reality (The Matrix). The current construct is undergoing some major rewriting for a new release. It is recoded and upgraded to a new Source Code.

The purpose: The Great Awakening of humanity, as one experiment comes to a close (The experience of duality), and a new experiment is launched (experiencing oneness) after the beta-testing of a small group of individuals has been successful.

The challenge: To upgrade and re-engineer the hardware (in this case the physical bodies) for a transition from one game environment to the next to not have to build from scratch (basically meaning without an extinction of the whole structure).

The reality as we perceive it is always based on a source code that defines the basic algorithm the overall program runs on. From there, a multitude of narratives is designed and written. Individual and collective storylines that the mind logs into for a physical experience to occur.

On a sidenote: It is a common spiritual practice to leave the body to completely detach from a physical experience. The question is – why would you be incarnated in the first place if you did not embrace your physicality. It often becomes a spiritual bypassing, rejecting an experience that was designed (by yourself) to remember your divinity and to prepare for full embodiment of your divine essence.

To put it in Morpheus’ ( The Matrix) words: “The body cannot live without the mind.” What he does not mention is a third player to complete the physical trinity: The heart. Embodiment refers to our full becoming of our God-Self in form. It starts with what you perceive as „YOU“, an individual aspect of the WHOLE.

But it does not stop there. It is a complete alignment and reconnection of all aspects of the WHOLE. All aspects you see and perceive in your reality, are aspects of this WHOLE, the ALL, the SELF, the SOURCE, GOD…. there are many words to refer to the all encompassing intelligence we are all an integral part of.
In the construct of the third and fourth dimensional reality, the mind has been designated to be in the lead.

This construct was specifically established to experience duality – what happens when the atom is split. In this realm, all narratives have been pre-designed, and an illusion of choice/free will had been created for you to engage in and attach to certain narratives.

This attachment formed your belief systems, your sense of morality, your behavioural patterns, and your perception of what is right and wrong. It defined your identites and roles to give you a sense of separation and importance. You were enslaved to your attachments and kept re-creating more of the same reality loops. This programming that governed your mind is often referred to as ego. The whole point of this construct was for you to experience separation from source, to see through all the illusions and to remember oneness.

The software environment of duality was designed as a hall of mirrors to see yourself and remember yourself as the creator of this big dream. It was designed for you by you, to find the access point into a new experience that you would not appreciate and value without the experience of separation, lack and fear. You’ve travelled far, you’ve read and researched a lot on your individual quest to find something you were looking for. The question of „Who am I“ kept you going. Until you realized that you have had the key with you all the time to access a completely new experience: Your Heart. The heart is what aligns you with a new environment. Once it becomes strong enough to take over the lead, your mind and body will start to transform in order to embark on this new heart based journey.

What we are witnessing right now – is the re-engineering of the old matrix construct – updating to a new source code to end the experiment of duality, and to start the new experiment of embodied oneness. The mind needs the narratives for this transition, as it needs continuity to step by step send new signals to the physical body for a complete transformation while deleting and releasing old data (through emotions). The physical body cannot go through this at once (remember, the mind cannot live without the body, and vice versa), it is a step by step process to declutter and delete old software patterns that have been written into the mind and the muscle memory, to make space for the integration of new software patterns to be able to read the new signals from the new Source Code. By updating the matrix – the awakening of the mind and the rememberance will be catalysed, always remaining on the edge of what a human being is still able to handle and process – although it might sometimes feel like too much to take.

The new environment will have narratives as well that we are writing as we go, from moment to moment. How boring would experience be without narratives? Just look at children – they create narratives every day, to play without getting attached to the role and to the experience (until we teach them to develop attachments).

The difference is that these new narratives are based on the new Source Code, and therefore the experience will have literally nothing to do with what we already know from duality. Many cognitive dissonances to crash the old program and belief systems around “how this world works” are going to be the new normal for a while.

Being aware of the fact that these are nothing but narratives that need to play out for all of us to transition from an old to a new experiment is calming the mind that still might want to follow some old impulses to keep engaging in old fear and duality based stories, as it fears the falling away of the old comfort zones. Take and process the triggers as they come, by dropping into your heart and feel what needs to be felt and released. This way, you overcome the gravity that keeps you “heavy” and logged into the matrix.

Maybe you can see that this is inevitable and necessary to transition over into the new game. Nothing of the old can come with you other than your magnificent, remarkable and unique essence. Together, we will write new narratives and storylines – from a place of childlike innocence – without any attachments to anything or anyone. Together, we play, we enjoy, we share, and we create a new world the way we love it to be. The experience of duality was necessary for us to appreciate our diversity and to discover what we truly love and who we truly are.

Our incredible journey has only just begun.

*Absolicious Image Dr. Ford (Anthony Hopkins) from Westworld


embodiment higher dimensions

I feel so inspired to write this morning. I can feel it all coming in. An energy of quick, intense and unexpected movements. We will be shown that we know nothing.

We are witnessing such an incredible shift, which really is an inner individual shift. That is exactly the key: Witnessing. No matter what happens on this outside screen you are perceiving as your reality, you always have the choice to get sucked into the distraction (the narratives of the matrix) with your mind, and continue to project your fear to control the situation, or you can just witness with an open heart and remain fully present with the uncomfortableness you feel and breathe and relax into it.

2021 will bring a lot of unrest, turmoil, unexpected curveballs and huge collective triggers. It will be chaotic and messy for those that get sucked back into the matrix. It will be ease and flow for those who can remain fully present, not giving their power away to the outside reality.

Source (all of us, on a higher level) is only interested in one thing: Our empowerment to make way for a completely new way of co-existence – in alignment with the universal laws. Therefore, all that is disempowering and is reaffirming the current belief systems about „how this world works“ will be removed to no longer offer a resonance field based on conditional thinking and co-dependency. Any attachment we might hold (consciously or unconsciously) will be triggered for us to collapse it within and transform.

When we are fully detached, we are able to hold space for the whole collective. We needed to die to the old world and to all the co-dependencies in order to learn through experience that “the bullets are not real“. No matter how hard it got, life just continued in the most magical unexpected ways.

2020 has been the best and most incredible year of my life. I know it sounds like a paradox. And it was. While the whole world was shut down, I experienced a freedom and empowerment like never before. I spent time in nature 24/7, I slept under the stars in the desert, in forests, on mountains and by the sea. I locked eyes and had telepathic conversations with spiders, snakes, bears and many other animals. I bathed in rivers, lakes and seas, I walked through valleys and climbed mountains. I cooked on and danced around the fire. I experienced an abundance like never before, and – it had nothing to do with money. It had all to do with a shared experience with people, nature and the universe. I felt and still feel the oneness with and of all.

I was able to let go of all linear, conditional ways and reconnect to the natural cycles. Conditional fear driven responses and judgments were overwritten constantly by a deep inner knowing of the perfection of all there is. I became the spaceholder for my physical body and muscle memory, as old data released, and the body freaked out.

I no longer am of this old world. I can walk through it, but I am not in it. I can observe, I can hold space, I can listen – but I cannot engage in any old programming. I cannot be in the past or future. I can only be here and now, following the flow and impulses of life.

Yes, it was a chaotic, a messy, an uncomfortable and a very challenging year. It stripped away everything I thought was real. I was left empty. I became nothing. A blank slate. I found back into zero-point. Into the heart. I would not want to change anything. It has liberated me, it has empowered me, it has shown me the new world.

Empowerment is not what we think it is.
Freedom is not what we think it is.
Community is not what we think it is.
Co-Creation is not what we think it is.
Technology is not what we think it is.

For non of it is based on our old ways of linear, conditional thinking.

The glimpses of community and co-creation I got were beyond magical, and I know that we all need to be liberated completely from all our beliefs, before we can open that gate into this new paradigm. New technology will not be available until we are completely detached from old conditional ways. Until we don’t have any personal interest in anything. Until we have no agenda, no attachment to a certain outcome, no expectation.

We cannot force this gate open – it opens the moment we are completely free. Completely empowered. Completely naked and vulnerable. Completely re-connected to universal laws and dynamics. The eye of the needle allows nothing to pass but your unique and beautiful essence.

I can only encourage you to welcome the uncomfortableness, welcome the challenges, the situations with seemingly no way out. Let go of any strings you might have attached to anything! Let go of trying to handle things in the old, known ways. Find rest in your heart, be the eye of the storm that is taking place around you, trust yourself as the creator you are. You are so much more than you believed to be.

Dance, cry, scream, laugh and sing with all creation while your body prepares for a completely new, fresh experience. Let yourself fall into the arms of the unknowable and let love embrace you with all of its intensity. Love is not here to prevent your pain, it is here to let you feel it and transform it. Love is not here to make you comfortable, it is here to shake you up, to break you down to empower you to break on through to the other side. The more you open up to love, the more you remember that you ARE love and the rest has been just an illusion to distract you from YOU.

*Absolicious Art by AndyFaeth


unconditional sharing

The Formula: UG+UR=US
(unconditional giving + unconditional receiving = unconditional sharing)

Unconditional means without conditions. What are conditions?

Conditions are acts you do with an expectation: If this…. then that…. Your mind creates conditions all the time. It is the basis of duality reality. Cause and effect.

Conditions are attachments to a certain outcome. They result in controlling and manipulative behaviour to ensure a certain result: To be safe, to be accepted, to be important, to be loved, to get attention, etc.

Conditions represent a PERSONAL INTEREST in the situation. You as an individual (ego) IDentity, want something out of it. You think you are entitled to something. These are usually unconscious protective mechanisms and strategies that are supposed to help you to prevent pain/death, or to receive love/attention.

Conditions are a linear thought form in time and space – and they are a linear exchange between two parties.

Unconditional is loving what IS as perfect. Including duality! No exceptions! (that would be conditional).

Unconditional means: without any personal interest: No expectations, no attachments, no survival, no „mine“ (be it resources or wisdom), no judgment, no blame, no separation.

When you are unconditional, you fully remember and embody oneness. You don’t do anything out of personal interest. Instead, you act from a place of such purity, that you automatically do what is benefiting the whole (the SELF/ All that is).

Simply said: Unconditional always happens spontaneously in the NOW moment. You can only create conditions by referring to the past and/or project into the future. Past and future are the home of the conditional ego. It cannot be here and now.

Unconditional is pure joy, pure knowing, pure innocence – just because it feels good. Unconditional happens when you are connected to ALL, when you have overcome the illusion of being a separate IDentity, and when you see everyone and everything as an aspect of YOU (the holistic SELF, Source, The Universe…)

Unconditional is living from your essence, from the inside out. It is allowing things to unfold, knowing everything is always perfect. You know that you create your reality, and no one or nothing else is responsible for what you see on your outside (reality) screen.

As long as you think your outside reality is controlling you, you are conditional. If I don’t do this… then this happens…. You permanently live in a fear of consequence, when you are in the conditional realm of duality (3D/4D).

Now, the (spritual) ego is a real trickster. We often think we are living and acting unconditionally, while in fact we have a controlling and/or manipulative program running unconsciously, trying to change the outer reality and behaviour of people.

How can I tell if I am truly living unconditionally?

Let’s look into the different elements of the formula:

Usually, as humans – we give something because we know there is a return on our investment (investment not only being money, but also our time, our talent, our wisdom, our attention…). We think… if I give this, I get this back in return. This can be an interest rate, reputation, attention, appreciation, karmic plus points to compensate for our guilt, admiration,… At the same time, we feel a sense of duty, because our role, our mission, our title, our situation, or whatsoever requires us to behave in a certain way. The human belief system of morality has a grip on us.

This is the way we have been conditioned, and we believe this is how the world works. And this is absolutely true for the realms of duality!

And honestly…. Doesn’t it feel good to be seen and celebrated as the hero, or the martyrer who is working so hard and is so selfless just to save the planet, the animals, the plants, humanity, etc.?

Doesn’t it feel good to save, rescue or fix someone?
And honestly…. how disappointing and frustrating is it if others don’t understand you and agree with you – or even worse – if they refuse your offer?

Yup… that is the ego speaking. You had an expectation – if not – you would not feel that way. The ego needs an identity. Something to identify with that makes you somehow special. The ego needs the illusion of separation in order to exist. It cannot stand the idea of being nobody or having nothing. It needs stimulation 24/7 to keep itself alive. it needs things to do, and stories to engage in, to show how clever and intellectual it is.

Can you see it? In such a situation, you are not here and now, you are separating, you are blaming and judging, you are driven from the outside reality…. and… you have a personal interest of some sort of return for your actions.

Unconditional giving is purely through the heart. It is non-linear. You give for the benefit of ALL with a deep inner knowing and a feeling of joy. You don’t have any attachment to an outcome, to a reaction, to a financial or karmic return… You don’t have a feeling of “mine”. Because you have no personal interest. You simply followed the impulse in the now-moment and it felt good. And… you are not offended if someone says „no“, because you had no expectation.

Usually, as humans, we receive something because we worked hard for it. If someone just gives something to us, we automatically feel shame – an unworthiness of receiving. We feel oblidged to give something back in return, if not – we would feel indebted to somebody. We need to give people a reason to give something to us. A return on their investment.

This is the way we have been conditioned, and we believe this is how the world works. And this is absolutely true for the realms of duality!

Receiving is hard for us, but at the same time we have certain wants, ideas, desires,…. as to what we would like to receive. We have an attachment and an expectation to what we receive. It has to be satisfying and aligned with our „vision“.

And honestly, doesn’t it just feel so rewarding and so successful, when you get exactly what you asked for?

And honestly, how disappointing and frustrating is it when you get something you did not ask for and you think you don’t need? And even worse, if it is the opposite of what you expected? And people seem to not care about your situation?

The ego speaks again… You had a personal interest. You are trying to control and manipulate your outside reality and the behaviour of people. The ego is in the lead, again applying its strategies to prevent pain/death and to receive love/attention and gratification. You are taking your past experience and project it into the future. You are conditional with what you receive, and are closing yourself off from what is ready to be shared with you. You say „no“ out of a need for control.

Can you see it? In such a situation, you are not here and now, you are separating, you are blaming and judging, you are driven from the outside reality…. and… you have a personal interest of some sort of desirable result for your actions.

Unconditional receiving is radical acceptance of what is. It is seeing the benefit in each and every experience. It s a deep inner knowing that everything happens for you and nothing happens to you.

You see the benefit of every trigger and every situation. It is an opportunity for you to liberate yourself from conditions/conditioning. You simply know that you can’t just pick out the cherries and ignore your own inner shadows.

Unconditional receiving happens spontaneously in the NOW-moment. It is a receiving through the heart with a deep knowing that you always receive exactly what is needed, from moment to moment. It is a natural surrender to what is, and receiving what is necessary for you here and now. Very often what we need is not what our ego desires.

Unconditional receiving happens without personal interest. You don’t engage in the drama of outside reality perception, you know about the alchemist key within you. Once you purely act through the heart and let Source/SELF/ALL effortlessly work through you, you are always in the flow. You know that everything comes to you, no need to go and find or seek it. You receive with joy and gratitude without any shame, doubt or resentment. You naturally know what resonates and what does not, and saying „thank you but no“ is easy, without any regrets or need to control, when something simply does not feel aligned.

Unconditional sharing is the automatic result of unconditional giving and receiving. It is a natural, effortless flow between all that is, providing exactly what is needed in every single moment. It always happens here and now, it is the way the universe and nature work. A Superorganism. Organic, non-linear sharing, a non linear exchange. Always to the benefit of ALL. You simply follow your impulses. You don’t consider anything as „yours“, as you have no personal interest in anything. You know everything is always perfect. You just are. A vessel for Source/SELF/ALL to work through you. It is very simple. Every participant of this superorganism is sharing their essence with a deep inner knowing that they always receive what is needed through the SELF/Source/ALL, we are all an aspect of.

All it needs is a shift in perspective, an open heart, and an empty, „unconditioned“ mind.


unconditional relationship 5D and beyond

I do understand more and more, what it means to be in the world, but not of it. Something has shifted in me. I am here, sometimes amongst people, sometimes alone. I observe. I see many individual and collective dualistic, conditional narratives playing out. People are interpreting from their own state of being and often are sending me long messages, being worried about my lifestyle and my „instability“. Or trying to manipulate me into a certain behaviour with their communication.

Again. I see it. I observe it. They are projecting their own experience. And that is it. I used to get reactive or at least reflective on what this is about. I used to be triggered. Now, it does not do anything with me. There is simply no resonance. No impulse to react or engage. Opinions, news, sides, being right or wrong, being entitled, injustice, violence, victims,…. I see it. I see the patterns and codes. I know why it is playing out. I just cannot connect to any of it anymore. Unplugged from the old matrix codes. Such freedom!

I see the beauty in it all. Such a big potential for everyone to collapse this polarity within themselves. By not engaging. By seeing through the matrix and its code. To end the game of endless loops that just keep manifesting and repeating when we choose „a side“. It is all meaningless, unless we give it meaning!

Neutrality is where it all collapses. That is when it all drops into the heart space. Only the mind is plugged into the matrix. The heart does not relate to duality. It only knows unconditional love. Oneness. Unity. We can walk through the world, without being of it. We love and see everyone without any conditions. We understand. We have compassion. We know.
No judgment, no blame, no conclusions, no consequences. Because in the end… it is nothing!

There is nothing for me to do but to be. I simply don’t have any personal interest in life anymore. No personal ego attachments. Life lives me, perfectly guided by the intelligence coming through the heart. It is so beautiful to know that everything is so perfect. I feel an inexplicable peaceful bliss while the old world I used to be a part of seems to be in complete chaos and fear.
All these struggles and fights for survival and for power. Earthly or spiritual – it matters little. It is the same backend, just a different narrative.

It makes me smile how we are all distracting ourselves from our essence. How clever we have set up the matrix for ourselves, to keep pulling us away from where the magic happens. Within us. Here and Now. How simple it actually all is. Nothing out there is real. It is nothing but a big maze of stories we can hook into and engage in. All of it just serves one purpose: That we remember our essence, and we discover that we are just playing a game we got totally lost in.

We thought we needed to be someone, and have things and control things and people so that we would matter and survive. We needed to define ourselves through roles and possessions.

Our human, dualistic idea of abundance is so different from what it actually is. Living a rich life is not a life full with stuff, money and things. That is actually what blocks us from abundance.
A rich life is rich in experience. We are here to experience energy in form. We are experiencing duality, to overcome it. To remember Oneness.

Abundance means, we are always taken care of, and we always get what we need. That is hardly ever what we (our ego) want. But it is…. exactly… the experiences we need to remember. Breakdowns to break through. To master this game. To understand its dynamics, its algorithm, its codes.

All of our wisdom comes through experience. You can read and binge watch other players for years, and accumulate lots of knowledge, yet you will not have gained one single bit of wisdom. At some point you will need to walk, and actually play your own game, to get out of it.

Abundance… so many times I have been in situations, where I did not see any way out. I thought, okay, that’s it. Yet…. the game continues. The screen keeps moving. The plot comes to you when you stop trying to control the outcome. You always get what you need. And the less you try to control, the more magical it becomes!

The secret: You gotta go backwards to go fast forward. Direction is inwards!

When we truly return to our innocence. To our origin before any conditioning. That is when we start co-creating in new unseen ways. It is nothing we could imagine with our programmed mind. It goes beyond anything you would think is possible.
I look back with a smile. So grateful for this abundant life.

Keep playing my friend. It is sooooo worth it!


old world survival duality entropy game

(written and published in January 2020)

The Breakdown is inevitable. The Breakthrough, too. We are not focused on saving or changing the old world or anyone in it. Why? Because it is impossible. Duality will continue to play out until it destroys itself. It is physics. It is entropy. The second law of thermodynamics. Trying to change it is wasting your energy for zero effect.

The old world and with it its whole system and dynamics are set up as a Single Player Game for survival, for resources, and money. Where greed is your biggest success factor. Where everybody is cheating on others (on themselves). We all know the drill. We’ve all played Monopoly. No matter how good we have become at playing that game, it continues to leave a bitter taste in the mouth. It is not sustainable and never will be. It will always feel incomplete. A neverending void inside. Because money can’t buy you love.

The Breakdown is inevitable. The Breakthrough, too.The old world of today has become a boring and predictable board game. What goes up, must come down. What goes around comes around. All we can do is observe how the old relentlessly continues to phase out. Why? Because it is not aligned with the laws of nature, physics and the universe. It is not in harmony. It is based on man-made, linear dynamics of cause and effect – a result when polarity is separated into opposing forces: Duality.

This results in a world of separation and conditions. Everything and everyone is conditional and is working against each other and/or co-depending on each other for survival. The old system does not align with the harmonics of nature. It abuses and exploits nature without returning anything. It is destined to self-destruct: Cause and effect.

So what then? You gotta go back to the origin, and start from scratch to create something different, from a different level of consciousness.

“Every program that is created must have a purpose. If it does not, it is deleted.”
– Rama Kandra / Matrix Reloaded

*Absolicious ART by prettysleepy1


After four days of being completely shut down and being numb and neutral, 
I can feel two competely different dimensions contrasting in my own physical body. It feels greatly uncomfortable.

It is being right versus being happy. It is control vs letting go. It is manipulation vs. radical acceptance. It is judgment vs compassion, it is injustice vs. perfection, it is possession vs non is yours, it is trying to make it right for others vs handing back responsibility… The list goes on.

Duality and Oneness are both present, and I can feel my body struggling to surrender and trust Oneness. I have not had a hyperactive mind in a long long time, had almost forgotten the mind could be so active. Wow, right now it is switched on with full force. Trying to find ways out of a seemingly impossible situation. Trying to find strategies. Strategies of manipulation, of control, of being right etc… I am impressed by all the stories and justifications it can come up with. It shifts back and forth between victimhood, and getting back into control. 
Duality… flipping between the polar opposites. The mind does not know there is a third way.

It all started when we left Cornucopia, where we thought we had finally a place to settle after all the tiresome moving around. We were able to live with little interaction with the old dimension, and did not need much in terms of resources. We could be creative, we started dreaming big dreams for humanity into embodiment and manifestation. 

And then winter came way too early. We left into the unknown again, direction South. We were pulled all the way down to Florida, where living is expensive and not much untouched nature is available. We did not understand why we are here, we still don’t know. 

Everything became so expensive, the funds we had received thanks to beautiful souls sharing with us just melted away very quickly. 

Difficulty with creating resources has been a life long pattern and struggle for me. Even now, where I know nothing I do is for “me”, as “me” is no one else but “you”, it is all “us”, this pattern just keeps repeating. I always had to work hard in life to make a living. It was always a big paradox that everyone loved and appreciated my creativity, my talents, my inspirations, my ideas, my ways of doing things. I received so much appraisal and great feedback in my business life, and thousands of messages sending love and light and gratitude in my spiritual life, 
but it was never reflected in my “return”, be it my salary, my sales numbers, donations… 

I fell into the trap of feeling used again and again. Everytime I tried to negotiate, to market myself, to stand up for myself, I got an instant slap into the face, and it got worse. 

Back to Florida, where all of this life review was handed to me to look at it and to write this text.
We had booked an airbnb in Miami. It sounded impossible, a whole small simple house for the five of us and the dogs for 100 USD per night. 
I had funds left to pay for four nights, the owner I spoke to on the phone seemed nice, too. 
When we arrived, we had to find out that the shower and toilet were broken, and the kitchen was not equipped. The owner was out of town and could not take care of anything. So we sat in a non-functioning house during Hurricane Eta.

And there I was. Playing the old game of being right, being entitled and get the owner to either let us stay longer after the repairs, or refund the money to us. Moving to a different location was impossible, because we had no more funds. 
I acted out of a lack and survival pattern. 

He did not react in terms of giving us any compensation, until we had left. He turned it around on me. He informed airbnb that we had broken the shower and the toilet, and that we left the house like a mess. He wanted 1500 USD as a compensation.

After a first shock, I sat with it. What is this doing for me? What am I not seeing? Why am I creating this? 
That is when I could see it, all that I just wrote. The separation, the entitlement, the need to be right, the trying to control, the manipulative behaviour. 
I broke down, I cried. Lifetimes of control and being controlled, use and being used flooded out of me. I am still going through waves. 

I don’t know what the outcome will be. It does not matter anymore. I’ve learned what I needed to learn from this. All I know is I am grateful for this mirror, he showed me how I was trying to be cheap and trying to get my way. I could integrate him as a part of ‘me’. 

It is never just one sided in duality, it is always both sides synchronizing with the same pattern, and dancing the dance. 

The mind cannot see there is a third way. 

The way of the heart. From neutrality. The zero-point of here and now. The full faith in our inner compass, and that everything happens for us. That we are creating our own experience. 
Being comfortable with not knowing, not having, not seeing. 

I am practicing to just stay in the moment despite all the chaos around me. Pulling my mind back again and again, when it wants to escape into strategy and projection. I am crying a lot, which is a relief. 

I don’t know what is next. I don’t need to know. I have let go of life in the old ways. Everything seems very empty and meaningless, including “me”. I let Source work through me, I have no personal interest in or attachment to life anymore. It feels good. No more control, no more manipulation, no more having to be right.

I feel happiness expanding while the old is released.


ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to be loved and held.

Just as we are. Not because we have done something right, have performed well, have gotten good grades, are good looking like a vogue model, have lost these extra pounds, got a good and successful career, or we are the perfect parent…

NO, ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to be seen as perfect as we are. Not seen as a project of parents, partners or friends to be changed and molded into an image based on an expectation and belief who and what we should be.

In fact, ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to be loved and accepted for who we are, for our being and our unique essence, not for what we do or what we could be useful for or for how successful we are. Not as a part of a calculated if this… then that condition and excel function.

No! ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to feel nurtured and nourished unconditionally.

No matter where we look in this world, we see billions of wounded inner children walking around, who have learned to believe that they are not enough.

That they have to be different. That they have to behave in certain ways to be accepted and loved. That they have to compete to stick out of the crowd, to be better compared to others. That something is wrong with them because they don’t fit in. That they need to collect badges and labels and roles to be someone of value. Or have to just do something so confronting, to at least get some attention.

And all of them think they are the only ones who are feeling this way! Because nobody talks about it!

We have all been believing this story of not being enough, of not being worthy of love for so long. We all feel guilt for not doing enough and shame for not being enough, eating us up from the inside.

So all we could do to distract ourselves and to prevent pain was to blame and judge someone else, so they would feel guilty and ashamed, too! Or we are blaming and judging ourselves. At least we get a confirmation for our beliefs this way.

All we could do is to numb ourselves with alcohol, drugs, binge eating, binge watching, binge working etc., or go on antidepressants, to not have to feel anything anymore, because feelings are not okay either.

We learned we needed to have a strong opinion and have to stand our ground based on the beliefs we were conditioned with, to be and fight for or against something to belong, to be of value, and to have some power (over others) and to change this world.

While ALL WE EVER NEEDED was being compassionately held and accepted, when we were angry or sad, to be seen in our pain, and our feelings being acknowledged as something beautiful, valuable and important.

Instead, we have learned to shove it back down, to keep it under control. To show “we got this!”, and to ask people to leave us alone, because we can do it alone. To prove we are strong. So our mommy and daddy can be proud of us!

Because if we did break down and cry, we would end up being labeled with all kinds of diseases that would label us as „weak“ and „not functioning“ and „not enough“. What a shame!

With all that we have learned, how would we ever understand that the only change needed is within? Our own perspective?

Just stop. Stop being so hard on yourself. Break that vicious cycle. Give yourself a break. Rest. Breathe. Relax. Reflect instead of reacting.

You can decide here and now to end this game.

Allow all these suppressed demons to come out, allow them to leave! Allow for a reset, allow yourself to feel.

Be soft and kind with yourself, give yourself the space to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to loosen the grip and pressure you have put on yourself, allow yourself to be tender and raw.

Stop trying to have your shit together, nobody has!

Allow yourself to let go, of all these beliefs and stories you have built around yourself, other people, and the world.

Give yourself permission to fall into the sea of unresolved feelings and fears, allow all the unresolved pain, shame and guilt to surface. Be that lovely mess you need to be in that moment.

Love every single feeling without any judgment, drama or story, and let it release with your screams and your tears. Love and hold yourself through it, allow it all to leave with gratitude for the new empty space within.

Because you ARE enough. You are perfect as you are. You always have been. Set yourself free from the prison of unworthiness you have built around yourself. Let your protective walls around your heart tumble down. Drop your armour, drop your weapons. Feel the peace within in that pure empty space where you meet yourself at your purest, most honest and authentic level.

ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to be able to be our true authentic self. To not have to live in permanent compromise with our unique essence.

We are all just innocent, wounded children, trying to find our way home in this seemingly cold, brutal, and lonely world. To be loved and to be safe. But we never felt truly fulfilling love, we confused, resources and possessions for feeling safe and nurtured. How could we know any better? Nobody told us!

We believed we needed a partner and a family to be loved and fulfilled and safe. But oh my, they never behave the way we want them to be! And so it continues. Wounded inner children hurting and hurting each other, because everyone is so afraid to not be enough, and to not survive.

Can you see the loop we’re in? (If not read again from the beginning).

In truth, ALL THAT WE EVER NEEDED was unconditional love.

Yet, we have been taught how scary love is. To fear it, to protect ourselves from it. To not trust anyone, they might just use and abuse you. You need to protect yourself to stay safe. The world is a dangerous place. We have learned to fear and mistrust. We have never experienced true love. All we have experienced are attachments and dependencies.

We just could not see or feel true love. Although it has been there all along. Our mistrust, judgment and fear are the only things blocking us from it.

Just stop. Open your heart to yourself. See yourself through the lense of unconditional love. This is the key to a new world filled with unconditional love.

You are part of a much larger whole, humanity is ONE once we see and allow it.

Transform mistrust and fear into trust, judgment into compassion and blame into acceptance. Be wide open! Life becomes magical this way.

See this wounded child in everyone. See the innocence. As we embrace everyone, and we love everyone unconditionally, there cannot be separation. All there can be, is love without any boxes, labels, conditions or expectations.

ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to know that we are part of nature and this universe. That we were never separated. That we are cared for by Momma Earth and Poppa Sun, and by every single aspect of this big beautiful and wonderful superorganism. Yes, you are one important aspect of it, too! You are unique for exactly that reason, and nobody else can replace you!

Let me tell you dear friend and fellow traveler reading these lines. Yes, you! You are not alone. You are perfect. You are wonderful. You are an amazing human being. I see you.

From my heart to yours. We are all connected. We are all one. I love you always, in all ways.

ALL WE EVER NEEDED, was to remember.

#oneness #innerchild #selflove

*Absolicious ART by 愚木混株CDD20


The term unconditional is thrown around a lot in the (spiritual) world. But what does that truly mean? What does embodiment of being and acting unconditionally look and feel like? Where are the pinpointers? 

Unconditional love, life and sharing is competely free of attachments, expectations, self-interest, control, co-dependency, linear exchange, currency, deals (“what’s in it for me”), contracts, obligations, opinions, sides.

In the dimension of ONENESS, there are perspectives, different ways of being and doing, acceptance, respect, empowerment, the love for diversity. 

Look into nature, how diverse it is, and how it functions as a non-linear organism without pricetags, contracts, regulations and laws, comparison, competition, etc. Nature does not know separation, it is one big superorganism we are part of, but we forgot that we are. 

This is what we are returning to. Unconditional living, loving and sharing. Our true nature. From the inside out.

Unconditional living means to be SELF-SOURCING. It has nothing to do with the idea of being self-sustainable by having our own income or living off the grid. It goes far beyond that.  

(For more on that check out this discovery tale

It all starts with you. From within. Not someday. Here and now. In your inner center. The neutral zero-point. The nothingness, from which everything becomes possible. Going back to your own origin, before separation started. Before you were programmed with beliefs. Back to being your true, authentic, naked self. Your essence is the only thing that crosses over to another dimension. 


Who and what do you judge for being, doing or seeing things differently? For having a different opinion? Who and what do you blame for your own situation? 

Who do you need to fight against or for to finally have peace? Who do you try to please or appease for being loved and accepted? Who are you manipulating or cheating to survive? (All of this includes governments, teachers, big industry, the media etc). 

Asking yourself these questions is how you find where you are not loving unconditionally – and you are denying a part within you that keeps re-creating those people and situations to engage in in your reality and keep you distracted from your own inner peace and equilibrium. 

And even if you answered all these questions with “myself”, then you don’t love yourself uncondtionally yet. 

Self-love is the first key we need to find for true unconditional love, before we can move further into the awareness and embodiment of unconditional living beyond co-dependency. (It does not mean we have fully embodied self-love , but we are aware of self-love as a key, and keep embodying more of it as we bravely encounter our trauma, shadow and unprocessed emotions) 


Who are you making dependent on you, and/or who are you depending on? Who or what are you trying to influence/to control? (Think big, such as clients, coaches, employers, employees, banks, money, healthcare system, landlords, renting out, etc.)

Flourishing self-love will open our eyes up to all these co-dependencies in daily life. It shows you where you are playing the matrix game and are accepting to control and to be controlled, to abuse and to be abused. 

We realize that we are still compromising our freedom and our essence for the sake of survival. Where we prevent ourselves from fully embodying our essence and from thriving with joy. Where we are allowing to be disempowered, and where we disempower others. (It is never just one side, whether we like it or not, we always do both)

The awareness of unconditional living is the second key for embodying the unconditional. We leave co-dependency, and become independent as we detach more and more from the old paradigm. 
When we are moving into fully embodied self-love and we stop compromising on our essence, we are opening up for true oneness. The illusion of separation from others falls away. 

Unconditional sharing becomes the new normal.


What and how do you share with others. When you share, do you put conditions / expectations (active and passive control)  on it such as pricetags (including sliding scales), barter, a service or labor in return, a return on investment, a “being there for you” an easing of feeling guilt? Or do you share unconditionally with no expectation for a direct effect or return? 

The basis of unconditional sharing is a deep understanding of Oneness in an embodied form. We see and feel that each and everyone that we encounter is a part of us, the bigger body of humanity – a superorganism that fell and forgot and was no longer aware of ITSELF.  
Step by step, we are growing back into this larger SELF-Awareness, that we are not just the individual small „self“ we believed to be, and that we are not separate from each other. We realize that we/US are the SELF. You are a part of me, I am a part of you. When we share unconditionally, we don’t do it out of self-interest or out of survival or co-dependencies as described above. We do it because we know, with every sharing, we are contributing to the remembrance of the larger SELF and therefore the co-creation of a new world and reality where we live in harmony, where we thrive together, where we can fully be ourselves without any compromise. We are no longer co-dependent and separate, we become one and share out of SELF-LOVE for the whole SELF. We share for the sheer joy of sharing, no conditions attached. 

Unconditional sharing is the third key to open the door into a new paradigm. It all starts from within. It is all about moving from mistrust into trust and inner knowing. This new paradigm becomes possible for you when you remember. When you start loving yourself, when you start living unconditionally, and when you start sharing unconditionally. It does not have to be all at once. Step by step by step you move into the unconditional more and more, and leave the old and all of its illusions and limiting conditions  behind. You release and let go to make space for the new. 

Nobody will do it for you. Nobody will build it for you. It evolves and grows within you and with your contribution. You are a part of it once you start embodying the unconditional and are truly acting unconditionally. You just gotta start and move forward into the unknown. You gotta face your fears, your beliefs you took for granted, your conditioning, your shadows. A new adventure awaits! A deep dive into yourself to discover OURSELF. 

We realize that we are all interdependent. We are all ONE, diverse aspects of the whole, the SELF. Not only up there in the higher dimensions. Right here, right now, on this beautiful planet, we are all invited to remember, to play together, to co-create, to love and live in completely new ways. 

Are you open to play and create paradise together?

*Absolicious ART by 愚木混株CDD20

self-interest vs. SELF-SOURCING

„A truly common purpose is indestructible. However, for it to be so… it must transcend self-interest, to be meaningfully shared.“
– Nouk Sanchez

Our common purpose here and now is to love and live together in joy and harmony with nature as ONE. We all carry that information and desire within our DNA. It is what we unconsciously long for. What we miss. To share our individual talents and gifts, and to be appreciated and respected for who we truly are.
We are here to thrive, to love, to play.

The shift from co-dependency into being fully self-sourcing is so often mentioned in spiritual writings and texts about the ascension journey and our expansion of consciousness. We think we know what it means, but do we really? Do we still have filters of conditioning in place or do we see it in its purity through the lense of Oneness? Which attitude and perspective do we take when talking and thinking about self-sourcing?

The human mind immediately goes to interpreting it as things such as having our own income as a self-employed person or from an investment we made, or having enough savings for all of our lifetime, or living independently off the grid, etc…

Is that really self-sourcing though?

We think self-sourcing and self-love are ways to put ourselves as an individual first. And here, we encounter another paradox in this whole journey. Yes, self-love is absolutely important. We need to learn to fully love and accept ourselves for the individual, magical and beautiful aspect we are. That is the only way, we can actually step into our power, joy and natural flow. Deep within, often unconsciously, we just want to share our individual magic with the whole! Nevertheless, we often get trapped in another round of self-interest, and we separate ourselves from the whole.

Yes, right, we are an aspect. We are not an individual, separate identity that needs to make it on its own. And yes, it is also true, in our journey of awakening, that we are detaching and letting go of all of our co-dependencies, ususally starting with family and/or partnerships.

To make it even more confusing, it does not stop here. That was just our first step into independence, individual freedom and empowerment.
Yet, we start to discover more co-dependencies. With the government, the system, the banks, the employer, the money, the food providers, the coaches, the doctors etc. etc. We are still in survival mode trying to make our way and living in the old system. We are not acting out of unconditional SELF-LOVE to thrive, we are acting out of self-interest to survive. We still think conditionally in the learned pattern of cause and effect. We are still driven and controlled by outside factors.

So, being brutally honest with ourselves, the interpretation of our mind with regards to self-sourcing are still very co-dependent. We are depending on money, on resources, on clients, on harvests etc. We are neither independent nor free. It is not based on unconditional sharing and effortless joy, it is based on individual hard work, compliance, and survival.

We still see ourselves as an individual identity, separate from all the other human beings out there. Yes, sure, we often claim we are one, but mostly we refer to that in a higher dimension, where we are connected through love. We don’t act like it „down here“. Unity and oneness stops in the physical realm, where we play survival games based on lack.

If we invest our time, our money, our resources – we want to see a return on that investment, a result, or at least a karmic rebalancing for a good deed. That is how we learned the world works. Unconditional sharing is not attractive to the human mind, because there is no visible return on investment. We don’t directly see a result of „what’s in it for me?“

But really, who is that „me“?

There are two perspectives on „self“. The human ego version of being a separate entity, our id-entity. The self.
And there is the perspective of the soul: The SELF. One intelligent superorganism that encompasses and consists of all the aspects that we all are. Each one of us being an individual cell, with an individual function, individual talents, interests and passion to share with the SELF. To thrive. To enjoy. To celebrate. We are not co-dependent, we are not independent, we are interdependent. We are not fixing each other, or solving it for each other, we are sharing our power and our joy, to amplify each other and to co-create.

Just as our human body has billions of different individual cells, all of them carrying the same DNA, all of them knowing exactly what their function is, contributing effortlessly to the whole living organism, we as humanity are designed to be a holistic superorganism.

We as humanity have forgotten that we are all ONE. That we are interdependent. At the moment, our shared body, the physical SELF, has various auto-immune diseases, cells/individuals attacking and harming other cells and our life-giving environment, because they have forgotten about their function and their being part of the whole. Humanity’s body has cancer, where cells/aspects just grow for the growth sake out of self-interest, instead out of SELF-LOVE. Humanity’s body has a heart-disease, because we are exhausting not only ourselves, but the whole planet because of our fear of survival and our illusion of separation. We are completely out of alignment with the natural cycles that govern this planet and this universe.

SELF-SOURCING is not born out of self-interest. SELF-SOURCING means remembering our wholeness and embodying it. To see everyone as an extension of us. Treating everyone with „SELF-RESPECT“. Seeing everyone as a soul aspect of SELF to be retrieved and integrated and loved unconditionally.
Nothing and no one is separate from a soul perspective.

Our common purpose is to embody reunion, to thrive and to enjoy in trust and harmony. To experience and live in ONENESS as SELF.

First, we reunite within us. We break free, we become independent. We are an empowered aspect knowing and loving who we are individually. Knowing our function, and what makes us thrive. We might be happy for a while, feeling on top of the world and we think we got the part of self-love and self-sourcing down.

Until we expand once more. We get glimpses of SELF-LOVE and SELF-SOURCING. We then start reuniting with everyone, realizing we are all ONE. We no longer act out of self-interest, we are interested in the reunion and wellbeing of the SELF. ALL of US. From the inside out. One aspect joining in after the other. Organically. Sharing unconditionally to live the effortless and playful life we were all dreaming of.

„A truly common purpose is indestructible. However, for it to be so… it must transcend self-interest, to be meaningfully shared.“
– Nouk Sanchez

*Absolicious ART by Amr Taha


When I went live on fb last time,  I got overwhelmed by emotions. Although I was sitting there, sobbing, my nose running uncontrollably, I felt so held and comfortable with sharing myself this way. 

I felt no shame, I felt no drama as the tears were flowing, and I could release a deep sitting pocket of survival fear due to a hard winter coming soon without a shelter.

It was so unexpected and it was beyond beautiful to feel you all with me, and reading all the loving, heartfelt comments. 

I was able to competely relax into that fear, bringing myself back into the here and now, a beautiful indian summer with breathtaking colours on a wonderful piece of land in Northern Wisconsin right by Lake Superior. 

Due to our conditioning, we think emotions are something bad. I remember working as a Head of Communications in the automotive industry, and the worst feeling for me was to sit in a meeting and feeling tears coming up when I felt frustrated, not understood or attacked. So unprofessional! 

That is how we grow up. Emotions are something unwanted. They are a sign of weakness. A sign that you don’t have control over yourself and are not able to function and have your shit together. You’re just not tough enough. 

The experience I had with the FB live was completely different. I was allowing myself to be truly vulnerable no matter the consequences, and I could relax into being myself. There was not one single judgment I felt, all I could feel was people holding space for me and appreciating my honest sharing of what I felt while I was processing that trigger. I felt so connected, from my heart to yours. Not because I wanted anything from you. Just because we ARE part of the whole. We are aspects of each other, remembering.

Vulnerability opens hearts, vulnerability connects, vulnerability reminds us of our emotional power and intelligence. It is the universal energetic language beyond any individual or cultural conditioning expressed and embodied. Beyond the language of the linear mind.  We remember that we are all part of the one same organism. 

What I did online is what we are and do every moment in our absolicious offline community. We share, we  scream and cry, we hold space, we are radically honest, we don’t take anything personal, we celebrate emotions. We laugh, we play, we enjoy. We are a learning organism, aligning more and more. 

I know now: THAT is the new. When we talk about a new dimension, a new paradigm, a new way of co-existence, a new earth community. It is our return to our innocence. Our vulnerability. Our playfulness. Us being connected from heart to heart. 

It is not ecology/permaculture, it is not sustainability, it is not charity, it is not alternative education, it is not new technology, not new arts, not new sports, etc. All of the content comes by itself and effortlessly, when emotionally balanced people remember, reconnect, start co-creating and thriving. 

Although starting with the best intentions, if the alignment and reunion of people/aspects through  vulnerability does not happen, intentional communities automatically fall back into old conditional patterns of control and survival. They need to implement rules, conflict management, schedules, application processes, democratic or communist set up etc. Most approaches look into producing enough food and shelter first out of survival needs. Most of them look for a business model to create incomes to pay for the community expenses and growth. They try to build the new looking through the lense of duality and capitalism. 

That is not how an organism operates. In an organism there is no linear, conditional exchange. 

Most intentional communities lack a purpose that goes beyond just living together, following a certain school of thought, producing food and goods, sharing facilities, tools and food so it becomes cheaper for everyone to live. 

But what do you do there when you are not a farmer, a teacher, or a cook? 

Most communities are smaller bubbles of people who want to separate themselves from the rest of the world. They are mainly exclusive (conditional), not inclusive – and you need to share the same belief (be it spiritual, religious, ecological, political…) that the community grew around. It is separating itself from the whole. 

Thus, they don’t serve as a new model for a holistic unconditional society based on unity and diversity. 

In the old world, we are taught that nothing is effortless and you have to work and fight hard to make it. We learn that we are worthless without money, and limitlessness increases with the amount of money available. 

We learn that for every act, there is a consequence. Cause and effect – conditional thinking.

How would we understand that life can be unconditional, easy and playful? 

An unconditional community is inclusive, it does not actively decide who is part of it and who is not, it is not evolving around a belief, it is not exclusive. It is not about money or a currency. That does not exist in a healthy organism. 

An unconditional community does not plan, project or predict, it does not expect. 

It relies on energetic resonance and creates from moment to moment. It shares a vision and purpose, at the same time it is not attached to it or to a specific outcome, knowing about augmented co-creation. 

True limitlessness comes through liberation from deep rooted beliefs, not through big bank accounts or portfolios. 

It celebrates diversity in all forms and is evolving around a shared energetic frequency of oneness. It is not co-dependent, it is not independent, it is interdependent. 

The idea of an unconditional community seems impossible to the human mind as it is based on individual and collective intuition and full trust that each aspect contributes to the whole organism with their joy and passion exactly what is needed, and that each aspect is also provided by the whole organism with what they need so they can contribute effortlessly. No laws, no rules, no schedules needed. 

People who are doing what they love. Everyone is appreciated for who they are in their essence. 

People connected through their hearts.

The key is US, embracing our vulnerability and our emotional baggage that transforms into our emotional power – our full body intuition. We can’t experience joy if we suppress emotions we consider as bad or not appropriate. An unconditional, loving, playful and joyful world needs emotions free of judgment, drama or blame.

After the tears I shared and cried, and the emotional transformation following my FB live, the fear of survival (which was not related to death, but to the pain before dyingin that case freezing) is gone. 

I am right here, right now, moving from moment to moment. Trusting the organic growth of this new paradigm. 

Here in Absolutia, we are playing a lot. We play with what we have, most of the time, we are not focused on what we lack. We are not interested in surviving, we are thriving. 

We know the more people remember, join in, engage and share unconditionally, the more the organism and the new world grows. Not even the ice cold winter coming scares me anymore. I know it will be perfect. It always is. It is all about being okay with not knowing, and staying in the here and now. 

Every day we are playing. With wood structures, with cooking delicious firepit meals, with the neighbor kids, with the dogs…. Life is one big adventure this way. 

And yes – we often play out the triggers for each other to get the emotion within to the surface for transformation. It might suck in that moment, but on a deeper level, we appreciate it and know about the necessity of it for our liberation and embodied alignment in oneness.

With all of what we do, we are creating a new reference point for more people to relate and see that a whole different, beautiful and joyful way of co-existence is not only possible but real! 


This quote by Don Bradley struck me with an epiphany.
Magic seems to be so far away sometimes, so impossible, because we think it is so extraordinary. Only few can do it. Yet… it is created out of the very ordinary, in the very moment. We just don’t see it because it seems so normal to us. We all have our unique and wonderful talents and gifts. We all are naturally good at something and love doing it. It is what we are designed to do. Like a cell in our living body – as part of a superorganism. We thrive when we do it, and it is totally effortless. We are all different, that is what is important in an organism. Most of us feel like total misfits and/or losers in the system and society of today. Because it does not appreciate diversity, it wants easy comparable numbers and performance reviews and indicators. The current system wants everyone to be a brain cell that is following the program to be a good working bee/robot in the system. It does not want you to be happy, it wants you to be efficient.

Magic out of thin air, instant manifestation is often misunderstood. Most people would think you just think a thought, or you just have a magic wand, and pouf: Your new house shows up in front of you, or your new car, or your new partner…. Sure, there are such moments – but is that really magic if it happened permanently? Would it not be superboring if we just created everything out of thin air like that? It might be fun for a week or two, but then? It feels pretty empty to me.

No, magic out of thin air in this new paradigm for me means we all get to do and share our individual magic full time! We only do what we love and by sharing and combining it with the magic of other individuals, we perform true miracles, that seem to be impossible to other people.

One example is the creation of our new playful and non-linear website (so nothing that is just copy/pasted or imitated from someone else, but truly original). Designing structure, creating content incl. texts, pictures, videos, setting up fun ways to invite more magicians to play together, bringing it online took in total 8 days and 4 people, sharing their magic and combining their talents. I have worked as a Head of Communications in the old game, and launching a new website took at least 6 months if not longer. For a lot of people what we did is absolutely impossible, for us it was normal. We did not even realize it was so magical, until we received the first feedback and reactions.

So, if we were able to come up with a website like this in such a magical way, what about co-creating the new paradigm, new infrastructure, new tools, new play, new events, new music, new everything? True magic happens when we co-create!

We all are magicians, we just did not trust our magic until now because we did not even see it. What seems to be magical to others, seems to be the most ordinary thing to us. Because it is so normal and effortless and easy for us to do. We don’t see our magic, but everyone else sees it in us. We are all practicing our magic every day, and it is our key to joy and contribution to the organism we are becoming, so we can all thrive and feel in a beautiful flow. We are all finding our way into a new, magical world, where we combine our magic to become even more magical, improbable, impossible and superinspiring.

Can you see your magic powers now?

*Absolicious ART by Mysticsartdesign


Notes on the way from Idaho to Glacier Park MT, Aug 31, 2020

Expectations are fears in disguise. The fear of not being enough, the fear of not surviving, the fear of not being able to do it on our own, the fear of having to ask for support, having to ask for respect, having to rely on others…

Expectations are conditional and are projected consequences/desired or feared results. “If I do this, then that happens”, “If you don’t do this, then this is the consequence.”

Expectations are not in the now. They are an attachment to possible future scenarios, based on past experiences or experiences of others.

The sibling of expectation is disappointment. The results of expectation (mental projection) and disappointment (emotional response) are judgment and blame.

Every time we feel disappointed, it is our preset condition/expectation not being met.

Every judgment or finger pointed afterwards is our coping mechanism to prevent pain, and to restore self-justice, self-worth and our integrity. To keep up and reconfirm our moral standards and beliefs. It might make us feel better in the moment, but nothing is transformed this way, and it keeps us in a loop.

It is the opposite of unconditional self-love.

Self-love is found in acceptance. Acceptance of the parts that are addressed in us when an expectation is not met and disappointment is felt. Acceptance that we created this situation for our own learning and expansion to transform the energy that is triggered for release.

Self-love is radical forgiveness for our own creation and seeing the perfection.

Self-Love is a letting go of any attachment to a future outcome.

Self-Love is the embrace of feelings that are coming up for expression, caused by an unmet expectation.

The only place free of expectation and disappointment is the neutral zero-point inside. Our inner peace and equilibrium. It is nothing that is established over night. It is a series of experienced unmet expectations and experienced disappointments that are embraced with unconditional self-love.

Decisions are made as long as there are expectations. When we are aligned with our inner core, and we are free of any expectation, we automatically follow the impulses coming through our intuitive, unconditional heart. That is when duality and with it any dilemma dissolves. That is when disappointment can no longer be experienced, as we see and feel the perfection in everything.

*Absolicious ART by 愚木混株CDD20


By Kay Proudfoot

Hello dear friends. I am excited to share what has been happening, that finally i am beginning to live my lifelong dream. That dream in part has always been to live more closely within the natural world. Some of my happiest times were living with my dear friend Sylvana in the boonies, a glen in the heart of Scotland. Mostly natural sounds except for the odd car or tractor, I always felt totally enveloped, nurtured by nature and just loved exploring the hills and bathing in the river and the last time the home welcoming was sooooo beautiful. At that time i did live in a house not a tent or yurt so not fully immersed but it was perfect then.

As we know we are one with nature, with all of creation, so our natural way is to live in harmony with it. And those of you who have known me for a while, know my deep, deep passion and love for this beautiful planet and how it has kept me going thru these past 20+ years of transformation. It has and still is my main source of joy.

I have been waiting a long, long time for this moment. The past couple of months i have felt more and more confined/imprisoned in a house and the old way of life boring, and the only joy was being in nature. It was becoming more and more unbearable and nothing to do with the restrictions we have been experiencing. And yet i was getting clear inner guidance that this was coming to an end and to trust, be patient and wait for the sign.

Each of us has to reach a point where we no longer have any desire to continue with the old world. It’s like we are broken down bit by bit and how is different for each of us as we are each on our own individual journey of awakening. Well that time for me is now and the adventure has begun.

It is all about trust and timing. When my dear friend/sister Vera and her partner Agusti arrived in the US in February i knew then that it was only a matter of time before i joined them. As shared before i have a beautiful connection with Vera which happened the moment we connected and then when she came to stay with me in England. Since then we have kept in touch and i have followed her on her amazing awakening journey both of us knowing that one day we would see each other again. And happy to share that that time is now here.

A couple of weeks ago the nudges and signs came and i jumped off the cliff, and even tho i felt a lot of discomfort, it was SO clear that it was time as EVERYTHING just flowed with total ease and grace. Within 3 days i was here in the US!!! Blew me away!One of their friends Cricket picked me up from the airport and i stayed with her for a few days before the 2 of us travelled 2 days from Minnesota, thru North Dakota, Montana, to a stunning place Lakeview in Idaho where we currently are. At the moment there are 5 human beings, Vera, Agusti, Tara, Cricket and myself and 4 furry beings Petit, Freedom, Shylo and Wilma.

Each of us human beings have reached the point of no return for the old world and ready/open to embrace the new, whatever that is. We are in unknown territory, following our hearts and learning to once again live in alignment with the natural rhythm of nature which takes some getting used to. This reminds me of a vision i had a few years ago. I saw at first just blackness. Then i could make the outline of trees, so knew it was night time in nature. Then a huge Stag gently walked out and stood in the centre staring at me. The message was very clear, a gentle luring into new adventures into the unknown which certainly applies to now.

Vera and Agusti have already gained a lot of wisdom in the past 6 months since arriving and exploring different areas of the US with other fellow adventurers, with Cricket and Tara joining them 4 months ago. I am the newbie!!!!! Not camped in 40 years even tho spent so much time in nature and already within 10 days here have gone from sleeping in a bed in the cabin to an air mattress and now sleeping pad in a tent and it is fascinating to observe how easily i am adapting as i just allow myself to flow. Just being in nature pretty much all day and night, bathing in the glacier lake where the water is crystal clear, sitting and sleeping under the night sky, with gentle warm sunny days is just AWESOME! I can feel so much already happening in my body and feel stronger too.

The dream for all of us is to live life true to who we really are, free to JUST BE , to come together and explore, co-create a new world whatever that is. That involves co-creating a new habitat when that place arrives. For now we are travelling as guided to various places and learning a lot about life, ourselves and each other, along with having fun.

Vera and Agusti first created an amazing website, – ABSOLUTIA (their name for the new world) a while back and now due to new beginnings, it has been redesigned and is one that is Absolutely unique and non linear. It is a fascinating adventure and exploration, sharing ALL sorts of things, inviting you discover more of who you really are, as you click on an image and go down the many rabbit holes that are available. Your inner child will delight in playing here even tho your mind may say WTF! Lol!!! I am still exploring it. It is most def NOT your usual website, something VERY different for it is part of the New World. So go and explore and let us know your experience.

Our aim is to be raw and real, bring people who resonate, joy, inspiration and the courage to take the leap, as we all continue to awaken to who we truly are and live life the way we were always meant to live, creating a new paradigm together.

I have been quiet for a while as i went thru a death of the old way and had no idea if i was even going to keep my FB pages. Now tho i know i will and from now on they are going to be dedicated to sharing our exploration and co-creation of this new world based in unity, and love, as we return to our innocence and playfulness of our inner child. Along with my personal experiences as i open up to an entirely new way of being. It feels exciting and at the same time scary but a knowing that this is my natural way and IT IS TIME.

The pics below are some of where we currently are. Stay tuned as the fun continues!!!! Much love to you all.

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Reflections on five months of a Community Embodiment Experiment 

„Community is nothing we thought it would be“. (Lawrence Wendell)

11 brave humans (you know who you are, beautiful peeps), and four brave dogs were part of an incredible experiment called Camp Freedom. An experiment to live and love unconditionally in alignment with the Source Code (a set of values and a common ground and understanding of what it is to live life unconditionally in community). An experiment to live as one superorganism, without any man made rules, laws, fixed concepts, or schedules.  A learning that is purely based on experience.

An experiment that brought so much growth and learning. An experiment that will continue to evolve in different ways, as each participant carries the essence of it all on into their further experience.

So much laughter, joy, pain and tears went hand in hand, as we moved forward together into the unknowable, exploring a new dimension, discovering new ways of co-living and co-creating. It took a lot of guts to take part, and to not just run away when it got too uncomfortable. 

Looking back, it seems to be the most obvious thing, that we needed to start the community experiment as a nomadic camp, moving from public ground to public ground, sleeping in tents, cooking on campfires and living outdoors full time. That way, we did not start creating from a place of need  for security, shelter, food etc for survival. We were invited to go back to the basics. A simple life, finding the magic in the ordinariness of simplicity and nature. Not only the dogs, but also we were undomesticating and rediscovering our wild and beautiful essence.

Plus: There were no distractions, such as taking care of land, building structures and things, planting food etc… no distraction from the most important ingredient for a new paradigm of unconditional community: HUMAN individuals and the DYNAMICS between US, as well as our alignment on a new energetic frequency level, from separation to oneness. We were all faced with our inner demons, the mirrors we held for each other were crystal clear, and not always pleasant. Nevertheless I am sure that we’d all agree that none of us would have wanted to miss this experience. 


If it came to a summary of what the basic ingredients are, I would use the following words: 

Freedom, Responsibility, Respect, Compassion, Radical Honesty, Sharing, Trust/Intuition, Acceptance. (You can find much more detail in the Source Code)

TRUST everything is always perfect. We always get what we need for our expansion, that is very often not what we want. We know when we follow our intuition and impulses, no matter how crazy it seems, it is what is needed for our own evolution. This includes to have no expectations and being open to any possible outcome. Knowing it to be exactly what is needed for our expansion. 

RADICAL HONESTY includes clear communication on how we feel, what we agree with and what our clear boundaries are. Instead of making assumptions, and going down a rabbit hole, we ask for and we provide information as we know that nothing is personal. This way, our complete body and the whole organism learns when we actually interdependently share energy to amplify each other, or when we co-dependently suck energy and drain each other. Expressed boundaries and clear yesses and nos are necessary, until our energetic boundaries are established naturally.

SHARING includes sharing our feelings, our perspective, our creativity, our talents, gifts, resources. Nothing and no one is valued over another. There is no comparison, competition, trading or barter. There is a deep understanding of being an aspect of the overall organism, and that unconditional sharing automatically creates a thriving for everyone.

COMPASSION for everyone around us and for ourselves includes unconditional RESPECT. This expands to our overall reality, and everyone in it, including the cashier in the supermarket, the grumpy neighbor, the dude in the car in front of us, the president of the United States, the Founder of Microsoft, etc.  ACCEPTANCE is vital. Acceptance of where everyone is in their life experience, accepting ourselves when we deliver a trigger to someone, and when we play angel and devil for each other – as long as we act from the heart and are not intentionally trying to hurt someone, or seek revenge.
It is the awareness that every single being in our reality has a pure heart in their core, which is covered with multiple layers of conditioning. With acceptance comes gratitude for the challenges those other aspects of the ONE organism (suffering from amnesia) provide for us and our own evolution.

FREEDOM and RESPONSIBILITY (Response-Ability) go hand in hand. The moment we expand beyond our physical individual being into the awareness of being a vital part of a much larger organism, we automatically treat everyone and everything around us as part of ourselves. We realize that every act of an individual has an effect on the whole. We are free to fully embody our essence and what is natural to us, while feeling a natural responsibility for the whole. Responsibility means full ownership of our own feelings, (co)creation, experience, as well as community space and resources.

This includes the knowing that nobody can make us feel anything, unless they resonate parts in us that create the feeling in the first place.
Responsibility means owning what is right in front of us. It is acceptance of what is, not wanting it any different although it might be very confronting and painful in the moment. 

Responsibility means treating everything that is available to us as if it was our own (as a part of us), with presence, love, care and appreciation.

Responsibility can mean compassion on the one hand, it can also be a clear boundary and “no” on the other – when an unconscious part of the organism is triggered, and is hurting the collective. It is a fine line to walk. Key is the awareness that we all have our blind spots with these unconscious parts, and accepting the invitation to look even deeper when we are triggered, and we feel hurt. In contrast, with each judgment, with each projection, with each finger pointed, we attack and hurt ourselves, and we prevent the alchemy into true liberation and inner peace from happening. 

Responsibility for our organism/the whole also has a large effect on how we take our decisions. We no longer seek advantage for our little self, we intuitively and automatically take the decision that is for the greatest good for everyone, every single aspect of US. It is challenging to let go of ideas of communism or democracy, including of human ideas around justice and fairness that always end up in more and more rules, laws and control mechanisms. That is not how natural dynamics work. Going beyond that means fully trusting that each individual cell of the organism has all information available at all times. Paired with its emotional intelligence, there is no doubting of the choice we make. 

Distortion of our INNERstanding is caused by unconscious aspects we have not seen and integrated yet. They are attached to belief systems, and the disempowerment of co-dependency – be it an attachment to people, to a currency, to a system or to a story. It is tempting to fall into ego-excuse patterns of why we are acting in a certain way, justifying our behaviour, because that is just how we are wired, and/or attack others for defense, and/or calling out „bullshit“ of others, to not have to look within.


Intuition comes straight through the heart. It is simply an energetic pull in a certain direction. A clear impulse we follow. Emotional intelligence with a deep knowing that’s right for me, without any doubt – although it might contradict the common understanding of moral of the dualistic society, and how things are handled and done in duality.

Our emotional intelligence can only come fully online, when we 

1) accept our feelings and emotional state of being fully as an energetic experience, without judgment or blame (towards self or others)

2) learn the mastery of alchemy by realizing the transformational power of emotions, by feeling our feelings without any story attached and with it seeing triggers as a gift,

3) have the awareness that hightened emotional states provide more potential and momentum that can be redirected into creativity/construction (instead of destruction).

Intuition often is distorted by our conditioning. It can easily be confused with the “gut feeling”, which is nothing but a physical amplification and reflex to the amygdala (the amygdala is the seat of our reptile brain/ego/programming of survival (fight, flight, freeze, appease). In a larger/multidimensional sense, it is our center of motivation. We can be motivated out of fear/lack (extrinsic), or we can be motivated out of joy/inspiration (intrinsic). 

With every process of alchemization through emotions, we rewrite the amygdala – and with it our source of motivation shifts. At some point, our amygdala/mind, and our gut feeling align with our intuition/heart. The result is a full body intuition, felt in every fiber and cell of our being. That is our emotional intelligence to navigate without any doubt. That is when we stop looking outside for any answers, because we just know that we always know what we need to know in the moment, and that we don’t need to know the future or rely on the past. 

Intuition (intelligence) is simple and spontaneous in the moment, a deep inner knowing. The mind (intellect) is complex and operates based on future scenarios and past memory in order to make a clever (rational) decision. While intuition opens us up to new unknowable ways, our intellectual mind will always go back to what it already knows to keep us in a duality loop. 

Intuition is found in zero-point, where empowered feminine (flow, chaos, compassion, nurturing, introspection, patience, receptivity, dedication, spaceholding, being), and empowered masculine (valor, direction, action, focus, structure, organizing, commitment, structuring, knowing) are in full equilibrium, co-creating seamlessly. 

We all need to learn to walk it alone completely, without needing, depending on, using or abusing others. We need to break through any attachment, belief, or co-dependency based on duality. Alone, we need to hit that point of exhaustion with duality and its old structures of power, fame and fortune/money. The point when we whole heartedly let go of any of the old ways, rules, and laws. We are simply done. And we fully immerse into trust and faith and let our heart take over. When we find full comfort in aloneness, ordinariness  and nothingness. When we truly operate from the inside out and are no longer influenced and pushed out of equilibrium by any outside distractions. 


It is the moment of a complete death. When we physically die, we take nothing with us but our essence. Non of our achievements, physical possessions, stories/narratives or loved ones come with us to cross over through the eye of the needle. We don’t take anything of our outside reality with us, the movie that we created for our own good and evolution in this lifetime.  

Now – this movie includes all the spiritual belief systems and stories, we are very often not aware of. The spiritual ego loves those narratives, because we feel we know the truth, we know and see more, we are enlightened, we have superpowers, we are on a mission to activate people and gridpoints or to fight the dark and evil forces, and we look down on all these unawakened sheeples. The spiritual ego develops an arrogance, and with it more separation. Be it between awakened/unawakened, between light and dark, the chosen ones/he lightworkers and the masses etc. Here we go again, playing power, fame and fortune/wisdom/enlightenment.

It takes a lot of courage, awareness and discernment to regognize and accept this conditioned aspect in us that operates on exactly the same duality pattern (co-dependencies, lack, conditional thinking and acting) as before. The moment we see it, we can transcend this separation, and experience true oneness with all. 

All of a sudden, we see that everyone is an aspect of US, exploring different parts of duality for the whole, to provide the wisdom gained in this experience for everyone to benefit from. People we meet are nothing but echoes of US. It is tough to accept and embrace especially those that are disturbing, annoying and hurting. 

Physical death usually occurs when the body is too exhausted or worn out to continue. The body/hardware stops functioning, our soul leaves, and chooses to continue the journey in another vehicle/incarnation. 

Physical death can also occur without the soul leaving the body. The body dies in parts and birthes in new parts with a new structure, adapting to our new frequency. We return to our innocence, freedom, playfulness and aliveness, step by step. The point of origin, the purity, from where we can create in completely new – to the human mind unknowable ways. 

Getting back to our innocence is an often very confusing and very painful process, as deepest layers of trauma are released that cannot cross over with you. At the same time we have all kinds of strange body symptoms and pain due to the restructuring that randomly come and go, combined with strangest cravings one day, and feeling puky and sick the next.

In parallel, our ego and our physical body memory fights hard for survival, it wants us to go back to known ways. It wants stability and a feeling of being safe. The ego/conditioned mind as well as the carbon-based body structure was designed as our navigation tool for duality after all. In order to leave duality, and access and co-create a whole new paradigm of unconditional love and oneness, we need to keep overwriting the fear programming in every single cell to actually unlock the true inner freedom we are. We learn to go into the direction where the resistance is felt, knowing that is where the door to true liberation is. 

We learn that emotional and physical triggers are true blessings in disguise, as they invite us to alchemize and transform the energy, and with it our reality to a completely new experience. 

It is also a natural part of the process that we find ourselves left with nothing but our essence. Stripped naked, no possessions, no people left – so we can experience the miracle that life always has our back and continues in magical ways, although our intellect ran out of ideas how to solve it or save us.

All of these reflections are my personal take away and learning from the experiment we called Camp Freedom. I am in awe for what we have co-created and how much we have discovered about this completely new world. 

Camp Freedom has shown to us the amazingness of what is possible, as well as where we have still limited ourselves. We have experienced what it means to be a learning superorganism, and that we are in community no matter if we are physically together or a-part. 

We have all been infected with the new.
We all knew it was the moment for us to move on in different directions for now, with deep respect and gratitude for the shared experience. 

I love and appreciate US so much. 


There are two flowering trees standing next to each other. Their branches are intertwined, and their fallen petals blend together on the ground in their beautiful colors. It is as if heaven and earth are bridged by love. But they stand individually, each rooted in the soil in their own connection with the earth. In this way, they represent the essence of true friends, mature, easy with each other, natural. 

There is no urgency about their connection, no neediness, no desire to change the other into something else. 

When you are ready for the passage into the quality of friendliness, you may notice that you are no longer interested in all kinds of dramas and romances that other people are engaged in. It is not a loss. It is the birth of a higher, more loving quality born of fullness of experience. It is a birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands. 

First meditate (be present in the NOW), be blissful, then much love will happen on its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful, and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don’t depend on others, and you don’t make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness. You relate, but you don’t create a marriage. Marriage is out of fear, relatedness is out of love. You relate; as long as things are moving beautifully, you share. And if you see that the moment has come to depart  because your paths separate at this crossroad, you say good bye with great gratitude for all that the other has been to you, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments that you have shared with the other. 

With no misery, with no pain, you simply separate. 



I can’t even say how many times I have died in only this lifetime. I’ve become really good at it. 

I went through so many cycles of death and rebirth. So much that was not „me“, not „my essence“ was dying off. Mental concepts, individual and collective non-spiritual and spiritual stories, emotional trauma and conditioning, all kinds of limiting beliefs I had about myself and the world, about relationships, about love, about good and bad, dark and evil, about lack and money and fame… I can’t even name all the things and stories and roles that I (or my ego) had identified with in order to have a sense of self and something that would define me, as ME. 

Countless times the ego tricked me back into new identities to attach to, new stories to believe and fully engage in, either making me feel minor or small, or more important and more powerful than others. The ego just needs this separation and comparison to even exist. Round after round, I died, I rebirthed, I died, I rebirthed. As the shy kid that had no friends in school, as the aggressive teenager that took what she wanted,  as the poor hotel employee that had a lot of extra jobs to make her living, as the good house wife, as the rebel anarchist punk girl groupie, as the university A-Student, as the professional badass Head of Corporate Communications and Marketing, as the mesmerizing public speaker, as the journalist, as the Twin Flame, as the Lightworker and Wayshower to save the planet, as the New Earth Prophet, the gridworker,  the Life Coach,  etc. etc. 

It did not matter which narrative and identity I chose, I did not end up feeling happy and fulfilled. I was still searching for something outside of me. Still attached to some hope or dream in the future. 

Until I died the death of identity in January this year. It all just fell off. Complete detachment. I could no longer plug into or engage in any story out there, or any story I had made up about me. It became so irrelevant and meaningless. I lost any interest in other people’s stories. My magnetics reversed and I was no longer driven by anything outside of me. I started creating from the inside out. 

That is when physical embodiment actually started. I could feel my physical body disintegrating. Time capsules that were stored in the cellular memory, like opening a compressed zip file exploded and released randomly, bubbles of deep cellular trauma from countless generations, collective identity and pain from the whole family lineage just bursted and brought me onto my physical knees again and again, into a phyisical exhaustion I had never felt before. There were no stories attached, just feeling emotions as the energy left. My body was changing shape and form every day, blowing up and then losing weight again. I could feel the whole cellular structure imploding, reordering and restructuring. Nerves were activating and electricity was running through my body. I often felt so sensitive as if I had no skin. Any physical touch was too much. It feels like the nervous system completely connected into the energetic system, and I needed to get used to this physical intensity of feeling. Old ways of enjoyment, be it food, sexuality, kissing, physical excitement (my favourite sports) became meaningless and boring.  

Step by step it took me back into the phyical zero-point before all creation started. I realized that everything that had kept us engaged in the old game is us trying and working harder for the goals our mind was choosing next. The carrot that kept us going. The moment we let go, and we actually go backwards, until we are that innocent child again before all conditioning happened, changes everything and speeds up our transformation in unprecedent ways. 

I am in a physical zero point now. A complete nothingness. Nothing to do, nothing to feel, nothing to look for, nothing to strive for, nothing to change, nothing to save. I am back in the womb, feeling a physical birth into a new world coming. Until then I am just floating and letting the inner transformation happen. I cannot plug into the old physical environment anymore. I have no interest in being in a city or in a house built in a linear way. I have no physical activity I feel I still need to accomplish before I can leave. No travels, no sports, no adventures, no places, no people to meet. Nothing to build in the old way. No desires, no wishes, no hopes, no dreams. Just NO-THING. The only thing left is the growth pain, as the shell and linear structures of my old physical body are changing and preparing for a new, unknown world outside this womb I am in. I feel an inner peace like never before. 

When I went through the death of identity, I wrote: „I am not sure if my physical body will come along“. 

I know now – it will. 


Zero point (now moment) is where timelines, narratives and whole worlds are born and where they collapse and implode. It is the origin, the source of all possibilities. As long as we engage (mentally, emotionally and physically) in timelines, narratives and worlds – we keep (re)creating them, based on what we already know (incl. akashic records).

The moment we can return to zero-point (mentally, emotionally and physically) without any attachments to a former creation, we are free and limitless.

I have gone all the way back to the origin. After many attempts of changing or shifting the world and people, I realized the impossibility of it. I had to completely crash. I had to lose everything and people I loved so much. I realized how attached I was to a certain outcome, to ideals, to people’s behaviour, and to certain ideas of how it all should be done.

I had to go all the way back, unravel every single conditioning, belief and comfort zone I had, and let it go. Until I came into full zero-point with a full inner trust that we cannot know how the new world is unfolding.

We have just begun to gather and align in zero-point, to then create a heart-centered world of unity. A world where we all know you are me and I am you and we all are.

I needed to be stripped naked, I had to learn that it is not only okay, but the healthiest and most liberating thing ever to be completely naked. No masks, no possessions, no expectations, no attachments, no mission, no needs or wants, no judgment, no opinion, no guilt or shame. Purity. Trust. All inner (and therefore outer) conflict collapsed into one.

Metatron and Lucifer reunite within as we integrate all of our own shadows, doubts and fears. Until then, until we remember our oneness, until we remember the origin, the source, the zero-point, we all keep playing angel and devil for each other. Individually and collectively.

It was then, and only then – when I was able to let go of a dysfunctional relationship with the now moment as it presented itself, feeling at peace with it no matter what, trusting and knowing that it is happening for me, and that I can create and collapse realities from this inner place. The only difference between re-creation and collapse is a reaction vs. a reflection.

All that is left is joy, play, curiosity, unity, innocence and an absolute knowing that nothing will be the same, and that the limits I have perceived were only conditions placed into my mind and body.

The only mission there is is enjoying life, and be YOU. Sharing your essence with all these wonderful, beautiful different aspects of you. You are me, I am you. We all are.
All we know is that we know nothing. We all meet in zero-point – collapsing into one.

We are no longer listening to (akashic)records. We are recording.

“To be original – you have to go back to the origin” ~ Antoní Gaudí

Camp Freedom, Mt. Shasta/California/Planet Earth


Everyone wants to be a butterfly, but almost no one wants to go through the pain-full transformation….

What if we looked at pain with a whole different perspective? What if we made it our friend?

Pain tells us when something wants to align, it alerts us that there is something to look at. It screams louder when we ignore it and when we move further away from our inner balance.

Pain does not want to hurt us, it is our energetic and our physical body communicating with us. It comes in many forms, be it mental, emotional, physical or spiritual.

Many people do almost anything to distract themselves from pain, because we have learned that pain in something bad and unhealthy, something that makes you weak, and something to be afraid of and be worried about. They are trying to control and defeat it.

Other people are so in love with their pain story that they get addicted to it. Being a victim at least offers some attention and comfort of others. They are trying to manipulate people into their drama.

Both ways represent an unhealthy relationship with pain.
Whether we ignore it, we fight it, we numb it, we try to push through it, we project it onto other people or circumstances, whether we find excuses for it and/or identify with stories to explain the pain or to receive attention, we are not accepting it and are not listening carefully to it.

Pain is the best and most challenging teacher to accept and love the NOW moment. To surrender and to embrace what wants to be seen, heard, and felt.

Yet, we have learned to escape the NOW, to escape our pain and not take responsibility for it. So we keep on moving further out of balance.

The moment we appreciate pain as a part of us that wants to support us and show us something, when we start understanding this language, pain becomes our best friend.

Pain is loving us unconditionally and patiently, whether we listen or not. It keeps sending its signals as reminders to love ourselves. To put ourselves first. To make necessary changes to re-establish our inner balance. For our inner return to self-love.

Pain does not hurt us, it does not make us suffer, unless we attach a story to it.

Pain is our best friend reminding us of our potential and showing us the door to our essence and truth. It teaches us to not compromise our essence for the sake of survival, for being accepted and loved.

Pain is our growth agent, our personal cheerleader to expand, to transform, and to return to ourselves and our inner peace. To be the butterfly we are meant to be.

*Absolicious ART by 愚木混株CDD20


duality and entropy evolution involution

An Awakening Summary

In Germany, we have this saying: Peace, Joy and Pancakes“ (Friede, Freude, Eierkuchen), which expresses an only superficially intact, seemingly peaceful and worry-free facade within a society.
We often use it to express that issues are ignored and repressed, instead of looking at them and solving them. In short: To ignore all the sh*t we have swept under the carpet so we don’t have to see it.

I was reminded of this expression by my dad, when he sent me an email reply the other day. I had shared our experiences in Camp Freedom with him:

„The atmosphere and mood in our camp is awesome. Although we are all going through our waves of letting go on the deepest physical levels, which involves going through the pain with screams and tears, we also have a lot of laughter and fun, and we hold space for each other of being nourished and cared for. We all feel very connected through our hearts, and we share the vision of a new world.“

He replied:

„It is really exciting to read what is happening in your camp. Certainly, not everything is „peace, joy and pancakes“ in such a community, but you have a common vision that strengthens your co-creation and coherence/team spirit and is setting free positive energy.

I could not do anything else but smile. Wow, yes – indeed, non of our „issues“ are ignored, they are playing out brutifully, to enable us to completely transform any linear construct that is still stored in the cells, we ever had resonated with. At the same time, we do have a lot of flow and positive energy going, resulting in so much fun, so much deep connectedness and beautiful co-creations.

This German saying inspired me to look back onto our individual awakening journeys, and how we are encountering these choice points in life that we return to, until we see our looping pattern. Points at which we until now had unconsciously applied our learned strategies to avoid pain and to receive love. People pleasing, excuses, explanations, problem fixing, submission, building up pressure, attacking or running away … etc. And each time we do so, we are violating and hurting our essence, our true inner core. „Oh, sure, it’s all peace, joy and pancakes, don’t worry.“ Gosh do we feel yuck inside. Step by step, we become aware of our patterns, we start to learn what self-love and boundaries mean (not in a ego sense of „me safe first on cost of others“, and putting up protective/controlling walls, but in a way of self-care and awareness).

We are all hitting a point individually, where we can no longer play superficially nice, living in „Pleasantville“, and act according to limiting morals, laws, and societal standards, that are forcing us to be someone we are not. Continuing with „oh sure, it is all peace, joy and pancakes, let’s have a cup of tea, shall we?“ is just no longer an option. The feeling of „yuck“ has become too ugly to still be ignored, and our thirst for freedom is bigger than the need for security. It is when we outgrow societies limitations, when it starts to hurt to make yourself small / to act against your essence for a job, an income, some attention, sex, status, security….

We are all hitting a point individually, when we get tired of all the repetitive stuff that keeps showing up in our reality. When we see the loop we’re in. When we understand, that we are projecting our own fears and conditioning onto others or onto situations. When we judge, when we divide in right and wrong, when we want to make people see what we see, when we want to convince others of our hard won truth, when we want to change the world and people’s behaviour, when we are waiting for people/or other beings to save us, when we expect „the event“ to happen etc.. We are screaming: „Can’t you see that it is not all peace, joy and pancakes?!?, Wake the F*ck up!“ We are exhausted, because our mission seems to not be supported by people the way it should be, and we do not get the resources to make it happen as we believed we should receive them, because we are working so hard for humanity. Pure Martyrdom. Just another form of people pleasing and saviour mentality of co-dependency. This leads us to realize that our perceived reality is nothing but a reflection of our own state of being/ our own energetic vibration. ALWAYS. We start seeing, that maybe not everything within us is „peace, joy and pancakes“.

Eventually we all hit that point when we realize that we need to look at all the sh*t, our own denied shadows under our own carpet, and stop pretending it is all „peace, joy and pancakes“. We all realize at some point, that wrapping everything in infinite blessings of the heart and divine love and light of oneness and garnish it with a pinch of gratitude and extra dressing of sacred purpose, does not make the deep inner pain, disappointment, frustration and longing go away. We really start seeing ourselves, our perfect perceived imperfection, the perfection of this whole awakening process and how everything is so well orchestrated and reliable in its structure, dynamics, cycles and timing – that not even a swiss watch can keep up with it.

Thankfully, we are so exhausted that we just surrender. We no longer try to solve it. We no longer identify with anything. Our ego „dies“, there are no attachments left to any story, role, mission, ideology, theory etc. We come to a big AHA-Moment: The way we perceive the world is always our own creation in every moment. We are an actor in our own movie, which we are perfectly designing for us and our own evolution. Every trigger, every situation, every encounter, serves our own expansion and growth. EVERYTHING is our own creation. EVERYTHING is a narrative/a story, we had been engaging in to see our looping patterns and our (earthly and/or spiritual) conditioning/beliefs. EVERYTHING is part of the ALL. Everyone is playing their part exactly as needed (which is most of the time not what we/our ego wanted). The illusion of separation and lack disappears. We fully trust ourselves and our own creation, and are going with that flow. We are no longer afraid of any consequences, because we are no longer afraid of our own power.

After the complete „Death of Identities“, we truly feel „peace, joy and pancakes“ inside of us, energetically. We are free of any beliefs. Our mental and emotional state is in a permanent state of zero-point, and just moves from moment to moment, following impulses. This is when we naturally start gravitating towards physical community. Subconsciously we already know that the individual journey is over, and we now „need“ community, to further expand and grow collectively. Our physical body needs intense physical triggers in permanent real life community, to actually transform our physical linear/carbon based structure to an organic structure. This includes a lot of physical body „work“ to go into the deep layers of our physical conditioning that we have inherited from our whole family lineage. Emotional „time capsules“, go off, layer by layer. They are not explosive as emotional breakouts are, actually, it is like goo that slowly works itself up to the surface, until it finally releases. We have had so many releases physically here in Camp Freedom, each one of us individually, all deep conditioning around lack, separation, self-worth, not being seen, entitlement, possessions, co-dependencies etc. So much anger and grief that we individually processed and transformed, while being held by our own inner peace of our energetic being, as well as by the unconditional love of our community.

When we are not going through a transformational wave, we play a lot. We feel a peaceful alignment, lots of joy when we „trial and error“ of living our absolicious life together. Everyone is sharing inspirations, ideas, knowledge, tools and toys, etc. The creativity is limitless, whether it is „The absolicious White House“ community space, a natural fridge, a pizza oven, the new website structure and content, water turbine installations for electricity, hot stone massage with river stones, a wood table for co-creative sessions, mountain explorations with the dogs, etc. And sometimes, we have pancakes for breakfast, cooked on the firepit.

Although we have those moments already, it certainly is not always all „peace, joy and pancakes“ as we dance this dance of alignment together, and we sometimes crash like rough rocks onto each other to harmonize and round our linear edges. At the same time, non of us would want to go back to old ways. We love our community life. We all know that this is the BEST THING EVER happening, and the true freedom from linearity and cause and effect that we experience is nothing you could describe. You gotta feel it with your whole being! Together, we become lighter and lighter, and are more and more truly embodying our essence and unconditional living and sharing, as we are becoming one unit, one organism being and doing/creating together. It is absolicious!

Each moment we experience together has more of shared „peace, joy, and pancakes“.

ORIGINS – Back to the Roots

dog sedona arizona


by Joey, Theresa and Vera.

„Originality is a return to the origin.“ Antoní Gaudí

All of a sudden, it all became so clear. So utterly simple: In order to build something that has never been built before, you need to go back to the origin. 

After the complete death of identity and the crossing of „the eye of the needle“ things have developed in the weirdest, most unknowable ways. Everyone here is in awe by the perfection of it all, although it seems so imperfect to a human mind. Once there are no more mental constructs of the old world – be it earthly human or new age spiritual belief systems, and there are no emotional attachments left in any way – be it to people, to things, to places, to thoughts/beliefs, to your own life/survival, you experience an inner peace that cannot be disturbed anymore by anything. The moment we fully understand our creative power, and the interconnectedness between ALL, the moment we remember our essence and us as an aspect of the ALL, there is literally nothing anymore that can shock us, scare us, trigger us, get a hold of us on our mental or emotional level. The inner peace and unconditional love for everything and everyone cannot be disturbed.

And here comes the funny part. Not even our physical body is able anymore to trigger a reaction of our mental and emotional aspects! At some point, the physical body is taken out of its comfort zone, too – just as we had experienced it before on the emotional and mental level. Now, this does not happen in a linear way, we are always working on all levels, it just takes longer because of its density. We are certain now, after observing and experiencing it for ourselves, that we don’t go into the ultimate survival fears physically before we have anchored this inner, unconditional peace within us. 

This way, our physical body can complain, can throw tantrums, can claim action, can scream, etc – yet nothing happens, because the rest of us/our system does not react –  simply because there is no resonance. It feels almost schizophrenic, how you remain so calm while the physical body freaks out. 

It is so interesting to observe how the physical body is forced into a rapid transformation, a relentless breaking through resistance and a letting go of everything it was used to, to be safe, comfortable and cosy. A house, a bed, a shower, a toilet, a kitchen, a couch… 

It all disappeared from our reality. 

After a number of experiences we all had individually of building the new together with people who owned places and had resources available – the last one the four of us together in Colorado – we all were clueless in terms of what could be next. We all had learned many ways of how to not do it, and had all experienced, that our ideas, visions and concepts of a new earth continued to drop back into the old earthly or spiritual paradigms and their old ways of doing things conditionally. All we knew up to now was that another completely different way would reveal itself. 

„We did not know why we had this impulse and were actually following it.  „You can never see beyond a choice until you have fully understood it“, says the Oracle to Neo in Matrix Reloaded. This sentence has been cheering me on for a while now, when  heart said  spontaneously and out of nowhere „do this, go now, etc…“ resulting in another leap of faith that seemed completely illogical and insane to a human mind.“

Vera Mygdala

This one was no different. But this time, we were not alone. 

Joey one morning said „Arizona“. I feel I need to go to Arizona. A month before, Agustí already had had a vision of „the desert“ as a starting point for a new civilization. The place we call Absolutia. Limitless, free, unity, fun…. A world to live the absolicious life. Theresa – certainly to her own surprise – heard herself saying: „That sounds fun, let’s do it!“ Her physical body was not fast enough to protest and say „no fucking way! I am old, I am tired, I need comfort“. Agustí did not really have a choice because he was late for breakfast. And Vera could not believe that she actually said „heck yes!“ to another road trip, although all she wanted was to finally settle somewhere. 

So we all sat there with a big „WTF“, what are we doing? We could not believe that we were actually following that impulse. But we did. There was no choice, as our hearts and inner guidance were completely aligned. 

We packed up the car – four people, two dogs and our outdoor gear. Nothing but the essentials could come with us. 

It kept being surreal. Coming out here to the desert is probably not what any of us would have expected. None of us had come to the US to travel around. We were ready to root down and co-create. Well, roots and co-creation we got, but not in a way that any of us would have seen coming!

So, here we are. Doing dispersed camping as neighbors of the Red Rocks in Sedona. Sleeping through some very cold desert nights. Especially in the beginning, our bodies were in intense pain, were complaining, were very unhappy, and could not believe we were doing that to us, while our spirit was very joyful about this adventure. It felt like a final homecoming. A land where we could truly and freely start experimenting with community, structure, dynamics, far away from „old civilization“. So pure and simple.  

„The beliefs of your mind, the walls of your house, the streets of your city, the entanglement with the system/game that you are playing every day, are the cage of the child and artist you have inside and you were born to be. You can only rediscover them, when you dare to black out all of these things and old structures long enough, by being you as a star under the dome of a clear night sky.“

Agustí Abracadabra

Anyone who has been in Sedona knows about the intensity of this place. The iron in the rocks and in the sand intensifies the electromagnetic shifts and the integration of information from the earth. The veil here is thin to earth. The energy is so grounding, it almost pulls you into the soil. 

„It’s hard to believe it was only two months ago I arrived in the Colorado Rockies, on the heels of Vera and Agusti, who had flown in from Barcelona only a few days earlier.  Joey left Switzerland and made her way to us a couple days after me; the dogs Petit and Mr. Freedom arrived two weeks later from Brazil.  In many ways, I feel we have been family forever.  The sense of coming home to ourselves and each other is so natural, joyful, playful, and nourishing, I wonder if I’ll ever be able to convey the miracle of it.“

Theresa Tabasco

All there is is wilderness, birds singing, beetles and ants crawling, coyotes howling, cactuses stinging, the wind, the sky, the sun, the stars. Vastness paired with simplicity. It took a while to get used to all this peacefulness and silence. 

After three weeks, our bodies are finally calming down. They go through a lot of pain as old memory and stored patterns (the complete linear body geometry) release, and new information is integrated and the new organic body geometry is built. We can see each others physical presence and shape shifting every day. It goes so fast as there is nothing to hold on to here. We even look lighter. 

We are brought back to the origin. We are remembering everything we know about living in respect and harmony with nature and co-create with her. We observe, we learn and let her show us completely new ways. We listen to the elements, to the natural forces, to the plants, to the animals, we observe the structure, the flow, the cycles and are building this symbiotic community together. A small organism that is growing. 

„I’ve had many glimpses over the last five years (some more sustained than others) of living as a cell in the one body—where my identity is much more aligned with the one body than the cellular function.  But there is nothing like living this continuously.“

Theresa Tabasco

We can only arrive on the shores of Terra Nova / Absolutia alone—no one (and no attachments) can make the journey with us.  It is quite disorienting to wake up one day and barely recognize yourself.   Even familiar reference points become foreign.  And the foreign, seemingly overnight, becomes familiar.  

Absolutia carries the word „to absolve“ within. To be absolved is to be let off the hook, to be set free from a certain obligation or to be forgiven for a wrongdoing.  The Latin “absolvere,” which means “to set free,” is the root of the word absolve. It is what happens when you cross the eye of the needle.  

More people have joined in organically, after their individual crossing through that eye. Our camp and community has grown to 7 people and two dogs. They have come, not because we looked for them or called them to come. They followed their heart, too. Being called back to the origin. To be original. To be together. To share. To contribute with what they love. To discover, to pioneer and to live the absolicious life. Unconditionally. You cross the eye alone, after that comes unity. To go through this physical transformation and to start co-creating in community. We are learning how to find our new, organic structure and flow. Becoming a living human organism. To be able to co-live intuitively. Without rules, rituals or routines. With respect, with honesty, with reflection, with communication. And first and foremost: With so much fun! It is effortless once the body surrenders and resistance to simplicity is gone. It often—paradoxically!–feels more like One than many.  An unfathomably large resurrected heart, post-apocalyptic collapse. This feeling of oneness brings us to tears and peals of laughter regularly, as it is such an indescribable and overwhelming beauty. How do you describe delirious contentment?  One plum pudding and a mulberry of inside out.  

How does that look like on a day to day basis?

What we noticed pretty quickly out here is, the best place to root down and start off in a completely new way is to go back to nature, to the beauty of simplicity, to observe the way nature works, the way actual roots and organic structures work. Nature knows everything we had forgotten. 

Without the confining walls of an already existing building as a starting spot, everything that is considered normal in the human landscape has space to be rethought from the roots up. To be redesigned in beautiful and harmonious ways.

„A key moment for me was when I had the opportunity to take a shower in a hotel room, realizing how confining those walls felt to me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the shower very much, but to my own surprise, I looked forward to go back to the camp, sit at the fire pit, and sleep under the stars in fresh air.”

Vera Mygdala

The many limitations we first felt by being out here, turned out to be the initiation of our limitless nature.

It was here (wherever that is!) somehow, the six of us arrived in an uncharted land–our inner shores miraculously converging at the same physical latitude and longitude. In the American west.   

The “desert”, might sound empty, boring, with not much happening to the novice who has never come visit. Being here shows us it is the place where EVERYTHING is happening. Every single rock and plant and ant carries an intense wisdom in them. 

It is a pleasure to connect to the surrounding, to sleep in tents, slowly ground in and experiment with all the basics. What does it actually look like to start from scratch? What are the essentials we like to have out here for joy, pleasure and flow? How can we create them in an easy way? How can we create an intuitive structure for our slowly growing community to operate in an effortless and flowing way?

„All of these questions and more have space here to bubble to the surface and be explored in a playful way. The limitation turns into the blessing, less tools and resources, barely electricity and internet means you really need to get creative! It opens the door to new possibilities once you focus and take a deep dive.“

Joey Kaleidoscopia

After a rough start for Agustí to get accustomed to the new simplicity, he was the first one to jump with joy over his first earth fridge prototype. Until it got raided by a wild boar one night, and we upgraded to the next level. Now we have 3 perfectly working fridges out here folks, plus a wine cellar, all with zero electricity!

Next to all the practical fun, we are all still releasing old patterning which is pulling out like chewing gum from deep down in the cells. It is a magnificent feeling to be held in an empowered community like this, where everyone owns their experience, yet is holding space for each other. These cellular releases come out in different ways, but the common denominator is that they are not as quick as thunder as the releases from the emotional body that we are all used to. They come out more slowly, pulling step by step out of the cellular programs.

We are intuitively experimenting with different kinds of trauma release massage, supporting each other in this process, finding out what works best and in the most effortless way. Also in this, it is a coming back to simplicity, to our inner roots, to reprogram what does not serve our being anymore and release it to be replaced by a higher version.

So how can (what is left of) the conditioned body/cellular consciousness begin to orient in the unconditional?  Our gorgeous bodies – which have primarily known only linearity, cause and effect—are surfing the unconditioned, within and without.  We cannot start with anything we have previously known.  We start with our magnetics—the inner pole shift–and orient with the new field that begins to coalesce, seemingly out of nowhere.  I’d venture to say, in fact, that stabilizing the body consciousness in the quantum field cannot be done alone.  Because there is no such thing as “alone” in the quantum field.   The atom itself, previously thought to be the smallest particle of existence, is infinitely divisible.  you could call that space or you could call that unity.

„Though we’ve been settled outside of Sedona for a couple weeks, I’m still dizzy.  Motion and stillness have merged one into the other.  The entire physical hologram is so blantantly a projection of the Wizard’s light and sound show it regularly makes each of us laugh! Toto pulled the curtain waaaay back.  The animals know: we’re all Wizards.“

Theresa Tabasco

And what else are we doing out here? Getting creative, writing, revisiting our visions, living day by day, sunbathing, installing solar showers and building hangout spots, collecting wood, enjoying our beautiful fireplace at night, stargazing, trailblazing, amazing times in community and solitude, decompressing in this new inner and outer playground we have landed in, inventing “cocomberland” and more.

We can all feel it, a new kind of creativity and way of co-creation slowly coming in.

Everyday is a new adventure.

And… what is next? 

What is next is a feeling. We know this is the true and pure beginning. Completely detached from old ways and ideas. It is a strong feeling that true „free will“ (from our essence/heart) will be introduced, the moment the physical body has dissolved any old fear/identity based patterns (lack, greed, competition, separation, entitlement) that are not serving the greater good. We will unlock limitless physical co-creation, the moment we are the fully embodied pure essence of the Source Aspect we are. 

True free will meaning that completely new abilities, technology, tools and toys will be available, and we can freely choose and pick from what we want to co-create and play with from moment to moment for all of us to share, to enjoy, to thrive and to enhance our joint experience as human organism.



Out to the west of Lambert’s Cove
There is a sail out on the sun
And I’m on board though very small
I’ve come home to stop yearning

Burn off the haze around the shore
Turn off the crazy way I feel
I’ll stay away from you no more
I’ve come home to stop yearning

~James Taylor, “Terra Nova”


Lately, I have a hard time finding linear words for the multidimensional experiences that have become the new normal for me. I am seeing and feeling ALL, everything and nothing relating to everything and nothing. Ever since all attachments and identities have transformed into oneness, I find it sometimes close to impossible to represent the individual aspect I AM in a linear way.
There is no difference of me and ALL other than the physicality that is still perceived as a separate entity by most people. Which it is actually not. Nothing is separated, everything co-creates permanently, even when we still carry the illusion of separation, personal achievement, heroes, victim and perpetrator stories etc.

The DNA carries ALL within, ALL is accessible within. Each dimension and experience is (co)-created from within – individually and collectively. Everything is shifted from within. Nothing and no one can be changed in our outside world. Higher dimensional wisdom has nothing to do with going up, it has all to do with going within. Owning the creation and co-creation of ALL.

The DNA just amplifies specific focal points that make this human vessel really good at and enjoy certain things, tasks, over others, while other individual aspects have different focal points. A perfect puzzle piece in the overall organism of ALL.

This morning I woke up after a very cold night out here in the desert. Once more I am realizing how being in nature 24/7 accelerates the dismantling of the old linear, limiting co-dependent architecture of “my” human vessel. Simply because it has no “familiar linear structure” around to hold on to.
A true and painful physical liberation of anything this body believed it was, based on the body memory held in its cellular memory, giving it the illusion of past and future as reference points for its existence and identity. It is a letting go of physical identity, of the limiting cage the architecture kept it trapped in.

A huge memory and physical attachment to identifying with a place as a home and safety with a community of people I felt so close to, had already released last week (that place being represented by Amsterdam in my case) from my left side, specifically from the connection between hip and knee.
I was feeling such grief while this time capsule of body memory left. And so much lighter afterwards. The feeling of an inner home replaced the attachment to an outer home.
It seems like these physical releases literally shift gravity for us.
The days after, I felt like a floating blob, I had a hard time navigating this physical body. Everything felt different. I really needed to get used to a piece of new architecture.

This morning another big chunk of body memory had worked its way up to the surface to come out. This time the right side, also between hip and knee. I was 5 years old again. Feeling so lonely and sad. Not understanding any of this human game. My soul and integrity was still so strong at that time, although my physical body was set up in the old limiting architecture. I brought the puzzle piece in of a completely different world based on unconditional love and oneness. It was so clear to me from early on, how that would feel and look like, but my physical body and the linear mind that came with it, programmed with separation, mistrust and lack, could not correctly read or translate this template into a human language, which should stay like that for many many years. Even when I started implementing new ways in my corporate career, and after that when I started writing about it, I experienced this feeling of loneliness and not being understood in something that was so natural and logical for me again and again. Anger was a permanent companion of mine, paired with the nagging question, wtf am I doing here?
It felt schizophrenic, as the soul went the opposite way of the rest of my human identity. The more I got sucked into the human game of duality and separation, the more this schizophrenia became just a subconscious feeling that kept me feeling out of center without a clear knowing why.
It should stay that way until I woke up, and I remembered ALL more and more consciously.
The more I unconditioned my energetic field, the more I remembered. I could see the truth with unfiltered eyes. I started to understand that – in linear terms – I was way ahead of my time. I saw that the linear architecture I still carried was fighting against me, not wanting to leave the known comfort zone of the human game rules and dynamics. It kept trying to trick me back into the ‘normal’. Until ALL took over and I jumped into one unknowable after the other. Breaking down and breaking through many times. Going through many dark nights of the soul to shake of everything that was not my individual essence.
Until a complete death of identity happened energetically. With it all attachments (which are identities) were gone. There was no more past or future. Not even a desire. Not a thought on what will be tomorrow. A childlike state of wonder, curiosity and awe. Just here and now, with what is right in front of me. A love affair and communion with each moment, seeing the beauty in it. Gratitude, playfulness and community are accompanying me and ALL is nourishing me with everything that is needed from moment to moment. The puzzle piece I brought has activated and it all grows organically and naturally. It is so beautiful to actually experience an unconditional world. It is a small camp in Arizona for now, but it sure will expand and grow organically. Hand in hand with aligned people, with nature, the universe and ALL. As we all remember we are ALL, each with our unique unconditional sharing essence, our unique puzzle piece for a new game in oneness.
As we all let go of the old architecture that dictated lack, mistrust and separation, we all are starting to embody the new, activating in the perfect moment.

In my current NOW, the physical body is still catching up and transforming its archtiectural set up. With every big chunk of memory release, more lightness is physically felt and seen and more of the new organic multidimensional architecture and abilities are integrated. Mama Nature and our little organism are the perfect spaceholders here for all of us in Camp Freedom.

The texts I share are always based in my own experience and observations. By no means I am claiming this to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to find their own truth and to be open to it changing as new information integrates.
As this is universal wisdom of us ALL, I do not claim any copyright. Feel free to utilize and share, as long as you keep the text complete as it is so it keeps its energetic signature. Thanks Vera


path slalom gate

Who would have thought, how quickly the world can be turned upside down. We are witnessing a lot of fear and panic, as the comfort zone of the whole collective has been basically deleted. We are collectively facing “the unknowable”. 

We can observe a lot of doubt in the field, as our foundations are shaking, whether in the 3D earthly collective or in the 4D spiritual collective. 

Doubt – as everything in duality – has two sides to it. It can lead to sheer panic, and an outer search to confirm one’s belief systems, to calm our mind so it can continue to be right, to keep ourselves distracted and busy, …to escape the current reality,  be it conspiracy, be it dystopian scenarios, be it savior narratives, (the government, the businesses, the FED, ETs, Nessara, the Angels etc), be it alcohol/drugs or other addictions… 

Or – it can lead into an exploration of the inner world. Feeling into what this is showing to me as an individual, my resistances, my expectations, my fears, my judgments, my blaming, my guilt,… 

Showing to us what our collective fears are, as a result of our collective co-creation (including the virus) of the world of today. There is no one to blame – as we have all participated and played that game and kept it alive with it. 

The situation invites us to re-think and re-feel everything we thought to be true. To contemplate on our lives and how we have been living.

It invites us to step out of the world as it was until today collectively, to make space for new ways, new ideas, new inspiration. 

The situation creates the necessary space to not be distracted and busy all the time. To remember and to focus on what is the true value is in life. We have been so busy chasing money, success, attention and “love” (conditional), and no matter how far we got, it was never enough and we unconsciously cultivated greed and competition. 

We forgot what is really important, and what we actually desire: unconditional love, self-care, rest, community, partnership, creativity, sharing, caring for each other, playing, nature, art, joy, inner peace and being allowed to be who we are, without having to compromise on our essence. 

This halt is a huge opportunity for humanity to shift into a new paradigm. We are growing up to be childlike again. To drop all the seriousness, the greed, the need to protect, the need to own, the need to fight for or against, the need to be right, the need to be the best, the comparison, etc. Living in the moment with our hearts open, taking it as it comes. Rediscovering and plugging into our connection to everyone and everything in this Universe, align with the universal/natural/organic cycles and dynamics.  Remembering that each one of us has a major effect on the collective experience and reality (butterfly effect, 100 monkey effect).

This situation invites us to be brave to go new ways, and embark on a quest to our absolute version. Facing and embracing our fears and our emotions that come with it. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and drop the armor we have been put around our hearts. Allowing ourselves to let go of any belief systems that kept us trapped in a loop of separation, judgment, guilt, shame, blame, expectations and needing to be right. We are invited to transform all differences and opinion into an appreciation of diversity and the essence of everyone beyond their conditioning, be it religious, political, relationships, sex, business, finances, economy, education, technology, spiritual, conspiracy and so on. All of them are linear storylines/narratives based on duality/co-dependency, we chose to play. The moment we got attached to them with our linear mind, they formed a belief system. 

The new world is about writing new organic narratives based on oneness and unconditional living that we play from the heart. 

We are in a choice point/zero-point as each individual: Do I focus on the outside world, factors, narratives and drama, to continue playing duality, or do I focus on my inner world, to transform conditioning/fear that I still carry within. Do I take responsibility, or do I project my lack of responsibility onto others? Do I own my part in this or do I give my power away to a narrative? 

The moment we detach from any outside narrative, we are free. We are unconditional. 

The new world is available, right here, right now. You carry it all within. Time for spring cleaning in our inner paradigm, and release and transform what has served its purpose and is no longer relevant. 

* Amazing Art by 愚木混株CDD20


About Oneness and Self-Sourcing

I feel so inspired today to share all these epiphanies I had during the past days. When I sat at the beach today, listening to a track of Oracle Girl about Self-Sourcing, all pieces fell into place. It was the first time I had opened up to assistance from someone „out there“, since a long time. I’ll get back to that later and how significant this was for me. This text basically is a co-creation with oracle girl, so thank you very much for this „code-sharing“! 
Ever since my physical body was basically locked into the purgatory space / the void, it is amazing what is happening. While the whole outside reality falls apart, and I am basically reaching the reset to zero on all physically visible levels / zero-point (zero movement, zero funds, zero data on the phone, zero physical social contact other than with Agustí who is going through a similar process, zero everything that somehow mattered to „survive“ for the physical body). 

The physical body is literally being locked in, and not able to escape the transformation any longer. No distractions. Whether it likes it or not, it is forced to sit with all the pain and fear of survival. Any cellular memory held within shows up with full force. Eckhard Tolle would speak about the pain body being in rage because it does not get any fuel to feed from an external source. It screams, wants to prompt me into finding solutions, begging someone out there for help, so we can afford or find us a home, to buy some food, to buy a ticket to somehwere, to have someone taking care of us, to find a job,…. endless screaming and spiraling, the physical trapped in a cage, going through a very intense form of excorcism. Every pattern still held in the cells is shown to be transformed. The physical body goes through waves of intense anger, resistance and then surrender again at a ridiculous rate. Each time that I catch myself having my focus mentally in past or future, emotionally on some world drama taking place, physically on a pain I experience, or spiritually calling to the heavens for help, I bring myself back into my physical body. Right here, right now. I completely tune into the feeling and physical experience of „I AM pure unconditional love“. This leads to an emotional release, and after that stillness, and becoming one with the void that felt so uncomfortable before. 

In those phases of stillness, of being here and now, creativity is so high, and creation is effortless. It flows through me, and beautiful designs and texts are just manifesting in front of me – I can’t even say how. Agustí and I co-create with that same effortlessness. It is magical. 

In those phases of stillness, I see it all with a clarity like never before. I see now that our physical body has been the missing piece to all of our questions. No wonder there are so many spiritual distractions out there, guiding us away from our physicality. It keeps us numb and paralyzed in the physical realm, as we basically disconnect and spend our time in higher realms. We are still following old patterns/spiritual belief systems, in our actions, or we completely deny action. Action and reflection go hand in hand. Of course, you can go higher and higher and higher, and tune into more and more and more information – but nothing will ever manifest or happen, when we do not focus and take inspired action at some point. If we enjoy „just being“ and reading information, although we have an amazing physical tool available – perfect! I know that is not where „my“ experience ends in this cycle.


How often do we say „with light and love“, or we are sending „light and love“ – are we really aware though what this actually means? Actually, until today, we have been mostly light OR love. 

Light is Consciousness – it is information, the masculine – Waves of light.
Love is Life Force – it is creativity, the feminine – Waves of sound. 

When they are separated – they don’t do much on their own. So far, we had embodied this separation – that is why we needed co-dependency and conditions/contracts/guarantees etc. in the physical form, to make sure we get enough light, or we get enough love (depending if we were set up with more masculine or more feminine energetic make up.) 

When they reunite, the same polarity creates unity instead of separation. And where do they reunite? Exactly: In the physical body. Within us. The physical body is our most powerful tool to create, and co-create, and it is our direct connection to unconditional love. 

Our consciousness reads pure light into our system and body (spiritual body, mental body, emotional body, physical body) and it reads it into our momentary set up of programming/patterning we have on all of these levels. The output is a distorted version of the information, interpreted and projected into our outside reality through our physical form, carrying those patterns. 

Consciousness does not transform anything! It just provides data/information. No matter what source of information we tap into – the angelic realms, the dragon realms, the galactic realms, the elemental realms, the underworld… – These are all sources that can bring us a lot of information, insights and power, and the lower we go, the more endless pain they can bring, but they keep us in a loop of duality, relying on an outer force or fighting against an outer force, and they keep being distorted in our reality field. They put us in a sort of physical paralysis and keep us in a separation of the spiritual and physical realm. 

Our open heart center reads pure love / life force into our system and body. And this is where it gets uncomfortable. It is why so many lock down their hearts again after such an intense experience of pure unconditional love. Our set up of programming in that moment cannot handle it. Life force is sound waves that make you remember your unique melody. Your unique essence. It works through your whole body (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually), starting to repattern everything, by first unlocking the old patterns, to transport them out through emotional expression (which can get very messy and painful – especially in the beginning, when we still attach stories or belief systems to them/as the mental body is not cleansed completely). Life force purifies the whole system and at last the physical body, when we have energetically detached / unplugged from all sources outside of us. This does not only mean from other people or institutions we have been dependent on in the physical realm, it includes our guides, our higher self, our soul monad, our guardian angels, our galactic family, etc…. As we cleanse our system and patterning, and our belief/program of „outside in dynamics“ disappears, we realize how fragmented our physical existence was – spread into other sources in an illusion of human, and/or spiritual co-dependency. Each time we transmute a pattern, we reintegrate parts of these fractals physically, until we become fully self-sourcing (inner reunion of light and love/ masculine and feminine), and our magnetics shift to „inside out“. 


Man, there is so much confusion about what is self-sourcing. Of course – because the information is read through our old patterning of separation. So we define self-sourcing as having our own income and being independent from others. A friend of mine told me yesterday (I love you so much H.!), that she realized, the pride she had worn in being independent, and being able to do it on her own was actually a badge of separation. Oops.. yup #metoo… I was not really open for anyone to assist or share, unless I did not have any other choice anymore but to take it. I am very grateful I have overcome this resistance with oracle girl, it unlocked a whole new level of understanding and embodiment for me. This has really transformed this „pride“.

Yes, that is so true. With our pride, needing to define our strength and our value, we fall into another loop of separation – and… co-dependence. Because we need another source / a separate unit to pay for our worth/value and contribution. We are sourcing outside/in. Or – we wait for the galactics, the guides, the guardians in the spiritual realm – or the wayshowers, the gatekeepers etc. on the earthly realm to solve it for us: Co-dependency. We are compromising on our essence and our inner power, and we take pride in being the hero – doing it on our own, either just for us, or for the collective. (masculine), or to lean back and wait for others to do the job (feminine). 

So what the heck is SELF-SOURCING then? Self sourcing is to be directly connected through our physical body to our essence. The physical body is our vehicle to experience, feel,embody and express the alchemical marriage of light and love on all levels: Spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. We receive pure information, we speak with pure words, we feel with purity, and we act from our pure essence. We are and we act unconditionally: We share unconditionally – as conditions can only exist in the illusion of separation and lack. We are fully open to share unconditionally, and we are fully open to let others share with us unconditionally, as we feel no longer any separation and therefore co-dependency with „out there“. 

It is the dynamic of „inside out“. When we have physically reformed and repatterned our whole system – when the whole geometry is changed, we can read light/information with purity, and life force can flow through us effortlessly. That is inner reunion. That is self-sourcing / connected to our essence, our unique melody and to our higher mind/intelligence. Mind, heart and physical body co-create effortlessly. We are bringing in our piece to the puzzle with purity. As all patterns of separation dissolve, we synchronize, connect and gather with people who are vibing on this same pure frequency of oneness. We share, because we know we are all one aspect of the whole manifest in physical form / and we all bring a piece of the puzzle to co-create. We are no longer co-dependent. We are interdependent because we know we are not meant to do it alone, and sitting around waiting for someone else to solve it is not the solution either. We realize that the whole battle for survival between darkness and light was nothing but our own split of light and love within, manifest in the outside reality. 
Self-Sourcing means, that we take our place in the bigger picture of this organism of non-physical and physical aspects (humanity, earth, the universe, the galactics, the angelics, animals, plants, the elementals, rocks, water, the minerals etc.), and we effortlessly co-create a completely new realm of physical reality in unity. Each and everyone from the inside out. WE ARE I AM.

The „claim“ of my former website „The Wake Up Experience“ can finally be read without any distortion: „Be love, and share“. Be love (Embody unconditional love, be connected to your essence) and share (your puzzle pieces, your talents, gifts, abilities, energetic and physical resources). 
What a wonderful world this will be.

I keep enjoying the purgatory, as I go through this physical shift. 
I am so excited for what is already building up. 

I love you! 
I am love. 
I share.


gates dimensions sea space

Neo: You helped me get here, but my question is why? Where does this go? Where does it end?
The Oracle: I don’t know.
Neo: You don’t know or you won’t tell me?
Oracle: I told you before. No one can see beyond a choice they don’t understand, and I mean no one.
(The Matrix Reloaded)

Choices exist as long as we are separated from Source. 
The heart always automatically “chooses” the path for the highest outcome to the benefit of you/all. The heart reads and operates from “real-time zero point data”, which means it is always fully present in the now-moment. It is unconditional in all ways, as it does not relate to duality and its “cause and effect”. 

The ego mind only reads memory/past data/akash and projects it into past and future, creating conditions based on separation and cause and effect. (If this, then that…) 

The illusion of choices (that are not really choices, as no matter which ego-mind made scenario you choose, it will keep you in a loop) drops away, the moment you are able to keep your heart open at all times. 

The fearful, mistrusting ego-mind does not understand the “choices” of the heart (impulses), and tries to prevent and fight against them. It can only relate to things it knows, has experienced before and projects onto people, situations into the future as possible scenarios. 
The ego-mind only comes up, when you are separated (when your heart is closed (again)). 

The higher mind on the other hand, trusts, accepts, supports and co-creates with the heart fully, with its ability of bringing through brilliant ideas and inspirations. 

With every heart impulse we follow, we open up to the quantum field of magic, of the unknowable, of the unthinkable ways and possibilities. The field in which we read energy through feeling, not thinking. 

We experience immense cognitive dissonances and challenges as long as our heart does not remain open and the ego mind activates again. It then tries to find solutions to protect/survive for a “choice” made by the heart, in an old way, based on memory. 

The more we learn to trust these impulses, the more they are experienced as a permanent deep inner knowing and flow. At some point there is no more “choice” but following those impulses, no matter how absurd/foolish it may seem to others. Because you know without knowing – this is the way. When we are acting fully aligned with the impulses, we embody oneness, we embody unconditional love and sharing. 

When heart and higher mind co-create permanently, you know an irreversible alchemy has taken place. You are no longer able to not be present in the moment. Memory only comes up when it serves the impulse and creation in the moment. It has no longer any emotional attachments/control that would keep you with regrets/depression in the past or with anxiety in the future. 

You. Here and now. Aligned with and connected to the hearts of those that have gone through this inner shift as well. Ready to share and co-create unconditionally as one. Ready to play together. Free, effortless and childlike full of wonder, creativity, and awe. 

Amazing Art by Activedia


central station new york

“And when a hero comes along”, “I need a hero”, We could be heroes, just for one day” etc. Batman, Superman, Wonderwoman etc, etc…

We, the human species have grown up with the hero programming. We love to admire heroes or be the hero. To put others on a pedestal or to have others put us on a pedestal.
We believe in saving and being saved.

It is easy for us to give when someone is in an emergency situation. If someone is ill. Or to give for organisations that save the ocean by removing garbage, save the rainforest by reforesting, save homeless by giving some food.

It is easy for us to celebrate those that have solved such a difficult situation with all their efforts. Those heroes!

It does not really matter to us that they are part of the problem and have co-created the situation in the first place. It does not matter to us that they are just treating symptoms of an artificial manmade system that are neverending.

There will always be more garbage in the oceans to collect, more burnt rainforest to reforest, more poverty to be charitable.

But it feels good to give a little and cheer on those heroes. At least someone is doing something! And thanks to them, we can stay in our comfort zone, calming down our feeling of guilt by supporting heroes or being a hero.

The real heroes are those that focus on the root cause. They are quiet, they look at themselves, at their own behavioural patterns and they shift and change. They don’t make noise about it, they walk right next to you and you don’t even know.

They are inspiring with a new lifestyle, they don’t point the finger at others, they look within.

They live amongst you, from moment to moment, they ask for nothing. They use what they were given for the greater good. They have no attachments, but they feel deep oneness of everything and everyone. Including you!
They live beyond duality, seeing beauty and purpose in everything. They are not distracted by all the noise of all the drama out there.

They gather with those that hear the same calling. To share a radically new way of living. To share what they have. To create a new paradigm. They go back to the origin – to their own essence. Before any hero programming. Where there is no rich and poor, black and white, save and being saved, heal and being healed. Where there is no giving and receiving, no trading.

There is unconditional sharing. There is unity. There is family. There is deep knowing. There is love. One unit, being and doing it together.

They are doing it for themselves, and with it – they do it for you, your family, your loved ones, and you might never even know about it until you experience the NEW you could not imagine was possible.

When you look around carefully, you can see them. They reflect your own deep hidden love and shadows to you. They are not comfortable, but they are brutally honest, raw and real. They wear no mask and they pull down yours. They look right through your stories and beliefs and see right into your heart and soul. They make you feel vulnerable, naked. They reflect your true inner power back to you. Your potential beyond fears. They might scare you at first, until you realize that this unconditional love is the only real thing we ever had to begin with. Just dare to smile and say hello – to that journey back to yourself.

#sharedessence #silentheroes #unconditionallifestyle #absolutia #ffellowism

*Absolicious ART by Jad Limcaco


imagine lennon

John Lennon already had the full vision of a world of true oneness. Through his art, he was transporting a message that is much bigger than we could understand at that point in time, and was planting the idea of a new way of co-existence into our hearts. The song has been covered countless times, so many people are singing this song every day, feeling its profoundness, and yet… live their life the opposite. Because this is just a dream… Nevertheless, John knew that some day, dreamers would come together to co-create the vision he had. That it was no longer just imagination, but becoming a reality.

What John Lennon is actually saying… 

“Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today”

He said: There is no duality, no opposites, there is only heaven and earth. when they merge, (Source and Resource) we are limitless. It is heaven on earth. When everyone lives for today – fully in the NOW, there is no fear, no duality, no separation. 

He describes what happens when duality and fear are gone, and trust is leading: 

“Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace”

Without fear or duality, there is no separation, no borders, no dogma, nothing to compete for, nothing to protect. The inner peace that comes through trust leads to living life unconditionally. 100%. That automatically creates the outer peace we all long for. 

“Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man”

He is saying, that self love does not mean to treat yourself different than others or put yourself above or below others. It means to radically accept yourself and everyone else as part of the human superorganism we are becoming. As part of yourself. Sharing unconditional love and life with everyone. Treating everyone equally, as you would treat yourself. Also when it comes resources. No possessions means everything is of everyone. Whether it is knowledge, ideas, land, water, money, tools, things… 

There is no rich or poor, when we fully live this way from the core of our human being. 

Oneness means when we accept and see and fully integrate ALL parts of ourselves, which is everyone and everything around us and that we share unconditionally what we were blessed with individually. Self-love is this wholeness within, before it can manifest in our reality. 
A brotherhood and sisterhood of men and women. The full understanding that we are all ONE FAMILY. There is no OTHERS. 

“Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world”

This is what we call SHARED ESSENCE and FFELLOWISM. ABSOLUTIA, the place where we live together in this way. Where we do not only act as one, but we feel one with everyone. UNITY. Being fully inclusive, knowing everyone no matter what they did and how they lived their life is part of us to show us our own shadows and also our highest potential. Our absolute human version, to support us in our own evolution. To see our deepest fears to face them. To discover who and what we truly are as a unique part with a unique contribution to the whole. To not trade but share, to not define value in price tags, but valuing who and what is. 

“You may say that I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one”

We know that it is not only possible, but that it is becoming our reality, as the world of duality is ending. 
We all have a choice what we support with our being and our actions: separation or oneness, conflict or peace, the repetition of the old, or the creation of the new. A bit of both does not work, no matter how hard we try, we end up feeling frustrated, exhausted and unfulfilled. 

We are all-in for the NEW. Are you? 

*Amazing ART by Iñaki del Olmo


dreamers together

Conditions automatically create separation, expectation and co-dependency – trading and negotiating our worth and the worth of others using each other to reach or change something outside of us. 
From the outside in based on mistrust and fear. It leads to control and being controlled, to victims and perpetrators, to use and being used, to sell truth, beliefs and opinions, putting pricetags on the individual identity (masks). 

Unconditional sharing automatically creates oneness, trust and interdependency recognizing our worth and the worth of others amplifying each other to connect with each other from the inside out based on deep inner knowing. It leads to freedom and empowered individuals appreciating each other in community, inspiring through their lifestyle, no pricetags needed. 

As much as we desire to have the best of both worlds, keeping the comfort zone until the unconditional has evolved, you cannot mix conditional with unconditional. It will always end up in the old world of co-dependency and abuse and a deep inner split between two dimensions. We jump or we don’t, we cannot surf two timelines in parallel, unless we want to be ripped apart. 
With this set up, we keep questioning our value and are reinforcing mistrust in the world in general, because we still hope for someone else to solve it for us, and we can settle in the nice and soft bed somebody already made for us. This hope keeps us moving from disappointment to disappointment – and frustration to frustration with the world and people, because we still cannot accept that it is all entirely our own creation what we experience on the outside. 

The world is perfect as it is. Until we start seeing its borders and start outgrowing it, getting a glimpse of a different dimension. The first logical approach of the mind is to convince others of what we can see, try to change the world and to change people by using its conditional mechanics and dynamics. (If this then that – darkness and light, good and evil). Conspiracy theories, the mission to bring light into the world… We try to heal, to coach, to activate, to meditate for peace and unity, to eliminate the dark forces etc . We come up with new dogmas – in short: we still try to manipulate the outside of us. 

Until we are too worn out to continue like this and we let go. Completely and whole-heartedly. Because we experience that there is nothing or no one to be changed. 
We realize that we created this reality to experience duality and with it lack and separation. We realize that it is in equilibrium, darkness and light – by people stealing energy from each other instead of sharing it. Those are the dynamics of this dimension. This frequency band. 
A huge bootcamp to learn what we are not and to remember and embody unity, unconditional love and our essence. 

We accept that each individual has their own experience and dynamics in this bootcamp, that cannot be influenced from the outside in. They activate and become aware when it is their moment – from the inside out – not because we want them to or we made them to. We understand that it was our own deep hidden fear of lack and unworthiness that was reflected back to us through them, and all we can do is share our experience to leave breadcrumbs for others, ready to be picked up when it is their moment. 

And then we realize that there is a completely new way that has literally nothing to do with the old. It is unconditional from the very core and is yet to be co-created and built together with others who have completely let go of the conditional world we used to know as our reality. We shift our focus completely away from the old to the brand new. Together we share this deep inner knowing of the new, we create with those who are understanding and embodying the unconditional, ready to play and fly together. One Unit acting as one Superorganism. 
We share our essence without any conditions, agendas or plans. We appreciate each other for who we are, not for what we could be useful for. 

The seed of this new world (Absolutia) is already planted. With each individual contributing with water and nutrients, it will grow organically. No leader necessary. It is lead by the Source Code, a set of values that are lived and embodied together. Simplicity at its finest. 

It is all here already. All the people and resources, it is merely a matter of putting the puzzle pieces and dreamers of the new together. We ARE DOing it. 

“So tell me… how are you planning on saving the world? – We are not meant to save the world, we are meant to build a new inspiring one” – The Magician

#imaginalcells #ffellowism #absolutia #ffmovement #sharedessence#sourcecode

*Absolicious ART from


„We are one“, „We are unity“, „We are here to embody the new based on oneness and abundance“… „We are here to share love and joy“etc. etc. 
Just scrolling down the facebook timeline, we can read this everywhere. Beautiful posts about the energy of the new world, and at the end of the post we most often find: „Copyright“, „sign up for my retreat“, „become a member of my new platform“, „get a session or guidance“, „donate here“, „sign up for my weekly newsletter“, etc. etc. 
The NEW is radically NEW. It is unconditional. Business and trade is business and trade. Two separate parties trading – depending on each other. Or, if it is a donation model, it is one party depending on another. If you pay this then you receive this. If you steal this from me, then these are the consequences… „You decide my value by donating“ etc. „If this, then that.“ Conditional. „My“. Identity and attachment.
We reinforce the old system with all of its symptoms we fight against.  
We might not like this… but that is doing it the OLD way. It is disempowering. Exchanging is NOT sharing. It is not Oneness. It is not Quantum. It is Separation. It is linear. 
All of this is still based on the belief that money is needed to survive. To pay bills, to afford living, to buy food, to have fun. We take it for granted that this is the way economy functions. We are creating with what the mind knows already and we are repeating a pattern – whether we like it or not, we are attached to the money belief because the mind cannot imagine a world without it. And we are very creative with it: Different payment models, income dependent pricing, membership platforms, Multilevel Marketing, Start Ups, Foundations, applying for government grants, inventing new currencies, weekly calls and gatherings etc. etc. All based on trading and business models. 
We are trying to fit the NEW into the OLD. Where is the magic in that? Where is the „NEW“?? 
That is not what we came here for. We did not come here to be the most shiny and beautiful caterpillar. We came here to be the butterfly. We came to evolve and create a NEW WORLD, that has nothing to do with anything we did before. It has a different source code based on Oneness, so the old dynamics of duality, separation and conditions do not apply anymore. And we feel more and more uncomfortable with that, because we feel that this is not really it. 
The NEW paradigm is about sharing unconditionally. It is about being in a state of healthy interdependency of all individual cells of the whole organism. The NEW paradigm makes money obsolete. Of course, there is a transition period, where we still use money to use the old infrastructure. BUT – it is no longer about „making money“ in form of trading to survive. It is about redistributing it by sharing until the new system is in place. 
The moment we fully open to share our talents, gifts, insights (as we are aware, that it is not „ours“ but comes from the same Source) we transform „Intellectual Property“ into „Open Source“. We shift our frequency into true Oneness, knowing everything and everyone is a part/the presence of „Source“ with different functions but no attachments to any „property“.
The moment we fully open our „possessions“ be it money, real estate, tools, things, we transform „Private Property“ into „Open Resource“ without any attachments to any „property“. Again – we shift our frequency into true Oneness. Knowing that everything here is is for everyone to share. Now, there is people mainly with Sources and others mainly with Resources. The moment we shift, we can syncronize in the energy of sharing. 

That is when we truly overcome the beliefs of separation and survival. When we fully trust the new frequencies. That is when we truly start to understand what Co-Creation means. When we start to share our ESSENCE. When we remember non-linear organic dynamics and cycles. We are not here to fix the old, to try to heal, to teach, to prevent. We are here to inspire and to build a new system, that automatically makes the old obsolete. We are not here to do it alone or with a small group of people. We are not meant to do this alone. Each and everyone of us carries a unique puzzle piece that adds into the big picture. We are all part of a worldwide community and organism called humanity that starts to remember its wholeness. 
It is an organic process. It grows from the inside out. It starts syncronizing and clustering those that are vibrating in this new frequency enough to shift. It infects the old. Bit by bit by bit. Until the old disappears.

#ffmovement #sharedessence #oneness #sourcecode #ffellowism

The texts I share are always based on my own intuition and/or on experiences of ffellows and my own. I do not claim what I share to be the ultimate truth. I encourage you to only take what resonates to find your own truth and wisdom. As this is universal wisdom, I do not claim any copyright. Please feel free to share this content as long as you keep its message complete so that the meaning does not get twisted. Thank you.

By Vera Ingeborg

*Absolicious ART by Activedia